The one last slice of pizza
lies in a round, metal tray
I look at you
You look dismayed
.
I reach in,
hesitant and slow
You reach in
Full throttle you go
.
No. This is mine,
don't steal everything away
from me anymore
.
No. You see,
you already have
my mom and dad,
you already took all I had
.
No. You were always in the spotlight,
I barely could even reach
I always hid in the corner
until my wounds would bleed
.
No. No. No.
I took the last piece
I ate it while staring at your soulless eyes
Ha! I win.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,447 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Hey! So great work , didn't expect a poem about pizza to be this deep to be honest. It was truly a great read. Although if you pay attention to the third stanza, you will see the rhythm of the poem break and that could put some people off. But other than that it was amazing.
Hey Memory!
I really loved this poem! It was cute and awesome just like you. I really think you can add more punctuation to the poem. Also try and add more descriptive words (don't be afraid to use a thesaurus!)
Anyway love you lots!
Alice ♥
waaaht when did you review this o.o
I think I didn't notice this in my notif.
Welp, this is an old poem. (I tend to learn fast so a month may be old to me HAHAHA.)
o3o My writing isn't that simple and witty anymore :/ which is sad, but now it's complex and dramatic. Ugh. Curse you Lang Leav for infecting my voice! xD
XD I reviewed this knowing it was old. I was just looking through your old poetry. Honestly change is natural and I love your poetry whatever style you write *3* <3
Hey there!
okay, so being honest i really did not expect anything you wrote about when i saw the tittle "pizza". But seriously it was good I mean of course, I opened this poem expecting some humor, but i got something even better. Never in my wildest dream, I ever imagined that a poem over pizza could be so... deep.
Anyway I enjoyed reading it and yeah keep surprising me!
Fangirl~
Thank you for your review divergent fan! Might I ask, did you go over my portfolio because this work is old xD
well, i was reviewing your other work and the word " pizza" just happened to catch my attention, and of course i could not miss a poem on my favourite stuff so yeah i reviewed it.
[Insert greeting statement here]
I was captivated from the start and you dragged me right to the finish! Ha! Amazing poem! 
You really need to write more!
When I first saw the description about two people fighting over pizza, I instantly thought, "Two people fighting over pizza?! I've got to see this!"
Yes, I really was. Heh. Funny.
Anyway, onto my short review.....
Like I said above, this was finny.... But it was also slightly dark and deep. You've still done an awesome job!
Merry Christmas!
~Holographic Ladybug
Thank you so much for your review :3 Merry Christmas to you too!
Hi!
Seriously though, a title is the first thing I look for (yes, I know that' kind of bad,) but it's the first thing your readers sees when they read your poem/story/novel/article. Anyway, time for the review!
I admit I clicked on this because of the title... Way to draw the hungry reviewers in!
Your last line here disrupts the rhythm just a bit. Maybe you could add just a bit, and then separate it into two lines... Example:
"No. This is mine,
don't steal everything away,
from me
anymore ..."
Or something like that.
-And that's all!
~Snazz Pizzazz
the word pizza is in my name... xDThank you for your review!
Umm..
This isn't going to be a review. I thought this was going to be like much funnier... But this little pest-self of me nitpicked something... And this makes the poem unfunny. Sorry. >_<
Look again at the 12 to 15 lines...
Bye~
~Memo
Ha! It's not intended to be funny xD unlike my other poems, I tried to be serious with this one, however it just ended up being a failure I guess. I only made it for a few minutes though so I think that's why. Well, thanks for er, saying something~
But I imagined it firstly as funny~
You're welcomed~~
I can see a pun-ish touch here :3