I'm sick

I loved this work. It is truly different from what it seemed to be . I am with my heart on the ending . It is beautifully conclusive . It is very realistic and so has taken a part of my liking . A very different type of stuff. It hits attention and diversifies my mood . I would love to see such stuff further as well.

Yo I'm going to review this thing, alright so
Let's slam this thing out.

Ok first thing: the last two lines make absolutely No sense and are %120 unnecessary and unfitting

2:evergreen trees do not grow near the ocean???? This change is unsettling..and confusing

3: Stanza 4, "trying to know sounds incredibly childish and uneducated, maybe try rewording it?

4:I like the "freaking sick" part, it shows emphasis

5:"of everything the world has to offer" this completely contradicts the line before it, and really the rest of the poem, it does this because "has to offer" sounds positive and hopeful, the rest of this poem is neither of those. Maybe try something like "of the world having nothing to offer" but whatever dude, it your poem

6: this whole poem is sort of confusing, which is fine I guess because it allows readers to see it in their own eyes, in different ways, but it just seems unfocused to me, and almost like the narrator doesn't even know what he/she is trying to write about

Okay, honestly, when I read the title, I didn't expect this. I expected a generic poem about depression with third grade similes and rhymes like "dead" and "head".

Context wise, you really beat my expectations.

However, I do have a major problem with this poem. I've learned how to ignore grammar mistakes when reading, but not everyone can do that. There is only one comma at the end of a line. They shouldn't be at the end of every sentence, but they do need to be used in more places. I know you used them in other places in your poem, but it makes lines run together, and it can be really confusing. Had I read this a few years ago, I probably would've had to read it over and over until I mentally put the punctuation in there. But, in the end, you are the poet.

I read Swavvy123's review, and I must say that I disagree about the poem being too vague. For one, it leaves more room for people to relate. If you had put something in about... let's say an abusive parent, I wouldn't really be able to relate to that problem. Some people would be able to, but when you're just taking the feelings of it, more people would be able to say, "Oh, I feel like that all the time..." As I said before, in the end, you are the poet.

I really liked your last stanza, by the way.

Happy New Year,
Nykolas

hi there MemoryHunter
I really enjoyed this piece. The title definitely caught my eye. It kept me on the edge, I wanted to see where it was going through out and I found it quite realistic, like you're letting us feel the pain and the emotion behind the words. I felt like I connected and I liked that line "A tiny dot against the big."

However,I felt that the entire poem was a bit too vague. There's no indication of what caused the writer to be sick of everything. It's like effect without a cause. The first sentence was a bit confusing to me but I really did like the words you used here and the entire dramatic effect but I think the most important thing in every write-up is 'don't confuse the reader'.

Also, I felt that it would have been easier to read if you only capitalized the first letter of each sentence. e.g "I'm sick of trying to know
why I was born that day."
Maybe include a few full stops but the use of run-on lines is also really good.

Great piece, all together and I look forward to reading your works.
-Swavvy.