Bottle

Hello! Now, like the previous comment, I loved the meaning of this poem because it's something that nearly everyone can relate to. There were a couple lines that threw me for a loop though:

"Of breaking your face"

Of what? Breaking your face? That image is really harsh and doesn't actually even really make sense.

I love the ending part of the poem where it says we should open the lid instead of inflicting pain upon ourselves or wiping away the tears, and I'm okay with it ending right there, but I feel like I still want more. I want to know HOW opening the lid on our emotions will benefit us more than just keep it bottling up inside.

There is also a little inconsistency on the lines:

"It will, tomorrow

When you find out"

I mean, it works but compared to the rest of the poem, each of the lines are summed up in the four lines per stanza, and this one carries on to the next. It's up to you, but consistency looks better that nothing.

Great poem. Good job and I'll look forward to reading more.

Jared

Hello! InfiniteRectangles here! Time for some reviewing! ^-^

Okay, so, first I have to say that I loooved this poem. I loved the meaning, the emotion you put into it, and how it had an inspiring ending rather than a depressing one. Well done!

Now for the nitpicking (don't worry it's just a couple of things!)
The poem flowed pretty well in my opinion, until this point here:
"You bottle up
Your indestructible gale
until it's on the verge
Of breaking your face"
This stanza doesn't seem to flow as well to me, but maybe that is just the way I am reading it. The only other thing I have to say about this stanza is that I found the line "Of breaking your face" a bit awkward. This has a more physically violent tone whereas the rest of the poem seemed to do more with emotional trauma.
The only other place I found an issue with the flow is here:
"You bottle up
All their empathic phrases
sugarcoated until
They pull out their maces"
While I love the imagery here, I found the line "sugarcoated until" to be a bit of a mouthful. It just feels awkward to try to read since the rest of the stanza is smooth and that line has more of a bumpy feel (if that makes any sense).

That's really all I have for you. I loved your use of imagery and how you used different situations instead of just going with one. It adds more variety and more people will be able to relate to it. All in all I really enjoyed it! Keep writing and have a wonderful day/night!

Hello! Tigerlilly here to review this excellent poem!

Okay, first off, I love the theme of this poem. It has a really interesting concept, how everyone bottles things up, and you bring up specific struggles that everyone goes through. And at the very end, you tell us that if we were to open the lid and let it out, these things wouldn't hurt as bad. I find this really inspiring, so great job!

Now onto the nitpicky stuff, there was one stanza that caught my attention:
"You bottle up
Your indestructible gale
until it's on the verge
Of breaking your face"

I feel like this stanza broke the rhyme scheme that you had going on throughout the rest of the poem. Maybe a bit of a wording change would help?

Another stanza really stuck out to me, but for a different reason:
"You bottle up
All their empathic phrases
sugarcoated until
They pull out their maces"

I loooooove this stanza. It just came together so beautifully and I love its wording.

Other than that, I don't have anything to change or nitpick on. This was a great poem overall, and I definitely look forward to reading more of your works in the future. Have a nice day, and keep writing.

This is amazing, MemoryHunter!

There's always a hidden meaning in your poetry. Your words always have my attention back. I simply love your works that much even if you're still working on everything. Maybe I'm just proud 'cause you are a Filipino too. Deep inside, that's very inspiring, really.

Here's the thing, I know that this poetry of yours was not that powerful for others, but you're still young. You can be better. You can practice and practice and practice. There's the help of different books to widen your vocabularies. Well, I really love books, you know.

My only advice is for you to write more and more. Read books, okay? They will help you, I promise. There's a different world to dive into. A special thing that can empower us to the fullest of all. The type of idea to brainstorm with yourself.

Okay. So, good luck, buddy! Enjoy every words that you're writing. Hope to read much of your writings.

Lovelots :*