Nocturnal Mistress

Hey, MemoryHunters.

The night is frightening mistress
Wrapped in her translucent silk.
Her hands outstretched,
Strangling my mind to think.

I like this imagery; it's simple and yet effective. I would like it if night is symbolized as something other than a mistress because it's done too many times, but I guess it's forgiven here. I'm not sure 'strangling' is the word you want to use as an effort to make the persona thinks, because frankly speaking, strangling one's mind won't make you think. It would make you crazy. o.o

She tells me to write
When my arms are drowning.
Her dark cuffs on
my wrists penetrating.

And here's the reason why making the night a mistress is forgiven in this case. This mistress, as it turns out, is a strange one. Usually frightening mistress brings in some hostility or anger or other negative feelings to the persona, but this one tells the persona to write, out of all things. I think this is relatable in the sense that sometimes we as writers, are forced to write at night, because that would be the time we're free to do what we want. 'penetrating' can't stand by its own, so I suggest you to expand a bit by telling us what do her dark cuffs penetrate. I have a suspicion it penetrates the wrists, so simply state it so.

The night is a frightening mistress
Caressed in cicada whispers.

I like this imagery, since it's an extension to the one we have so far; stuck with mistress imagery throughout the poem would be tiring, since we'd focus on that mistress only.

She lingers around
With menacing eyes
And faintly
Whispers, “write
For your life.”

I like this stanza too, because it shows so much about the mistress. Here we know more about her, simply because of what she seems to be and what she says. However, the lines here are shorter than the previous ones; it breaks the flow and consistency. I'm not sure if shortening the lines are necessary here. They as general don't convey the urgency needed for short lines.

Anyway, that is all! But as a side note, I don't think this is more effective if made as a rhymed poem. Free-verse seems to fit this one better. Keep up the good job! ;D