So, this is a pessimistic poem. If you have negative thoughts on pessimism, please don't be too affected.
....................................
I can feel the words,
I can hear their breathing
but I can't touch them
or create them as I'm writing
.
Everything's a huge blur,
you know?
It's easy to press the pen
against the paper,
yet hard to make
the letters alive
I try to see,
yet I can't seem
to write for my life
.
I don't know where
my voice comes from
When I create a story it pops up
or disappears at random
Is it lost, or is it dead?
Are the words preparing
to wither ahead?
.
I may feel the breathing of words
but only ever so slightly,
I may hear their echoes
yet only faintly
.
I cling to them but they escape
the distance a tremendous bit
They fade and die
The paper is still blank white
.
I crawl to the corner
in a dying breath
catching the words
as they fall from my head
and I realize as I look up
There are far more better than me...
I give up!
................
Too pessimistic, right? I told you.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,447 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
I really love this poem! I've learned form personal experience that you truly have to feel the emotions swarm your heart in order to write a poem passionately. Well, there is a lot of passion in this. I absolutely adore the order, form, and meaning. Thanks for an awesome read!
Thank you for this lovely review on my old poem! It's nice to look back
Hey MemoryHunter! Rolling again. What a nice work! Great job. I could really relate through this.
Continue to grow as a writer.
You're becoming a better writer. From good, to better, and I'm waiting for your highest might to entertain readers around the world by writing fantastic works with fantastic words. Why are you just soooo good, dear?
I'm also here to have an advice so that you could be better than better. Maybe you should try to renew some ideas because some are just so common. Don't get me wrong but, I still love your works, really. A little twist was more than interesting. Just enjoy writing, baby
"Be happy, it drives people crazy."
Just sharing this crazy message.
-strwbrryyy
Thaaaaaaaank you strwbrryyy xD! I'll be sure to write something amazing someday~
I'm expecting for that
Happy New Year and God bless 
Heya Memoryhunter! Matthew here for a review!
Okay, first off, this is a pretty good poem. Good structure(for the most part,)no spelling errors, and it's relate-able to be honest!
Okay, now, secondly, I do have to critique a couple of things.
First off- the flow of it. In some spots, it was spot on. The lines flowed together. Yet, in other sentences, it cut off to early on the last lines, and was too long on the first lines.
Secondly, I don't think it was supposed to rhyme, and I respect and like that. But, in a couple of lines, it did rhyme, then didn't keep the scheme up. I mean, it was a good thing, but still something that caught my eye.
Then, thirdly, I loved how I could relate to this. Honestly, it struck home.
My favorite lines from this have to be,"I crawl to the corner
in a dying breath
catching the words
as they fall from my head."
For some reason, I really loved these lines.
Anyway, I think you are an EXTREMELY good writer, and I look forward to seeing some more of your stuff!
Sincerely- MatthewAaron.
Thank you so much for your review
No problem, anytime you need one just holler at me!
I love the poem that is that is really what I have to say it is just fantastic and it is very releasing.
Your friend jessiebear.
Thank you so much jessiebewr :3