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139,447 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Hey,
This is one nice piece of work. There is something catchy about it and I cannot help but appreciate. Apart from the words, the presentation always help to make your work a bit more set apart.
Nevertheless, the portrayal of one's life was good and especially the part
"How do I live when no man sings my tale"
Indeed, a sailor's life is nothing without a bit of lime light or fame. Mortal life is a bit harsh if we do not dwell in what sets us apart especially of a sailor.
Hey there, Memory hunter! It's Vilnius with a review.
I loved the mood of this poem-- mystery in tranquility, danger in silence. You've depicted how an old sailor might feel after years, maybe even decades, of voyaging abroad, seeing unseen lands. I see an old man that loves his work standing at the ready for anything that is thrown at him.
Have you been out on the water often? You've done a tremendous job of conveying a life out in the ocean blue, beyond the horizon. It really is lovely.
Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!
Heyo there! Let's see what we have here.
First off, the poem is really well written; very hard to find anything wrong with it. And usually with poems, I try to ignore grammatical errors, since the poems don't necessarily need punctuation.
"my heart does not want to let go
of the hurricane I have concocted"
It would sound better if "I" was replaced with "it". It would make it seem as though the heart had created this hurricane.
"how do I live when no man sings my tales"
It would sound better if "man" we replaced with "one." It would flow better with the poem.
The last two lines are a bit difficult to understand, Are you saying that he would anchor his ship in the middle of the ocean?
Other than that, it is very well written. Well done!
Thanks!
BurnblazeX
Thank you for your review! I admit I was having a little trouble with the line "how do I live when no man sings my tales", so your suggestion truly helped.
For the last two lines - what I meant was that if the sailor were to stop sailing in his ship, where would he anchor it? Where would it stay?
What I was trying to do in this poem was likening myself to the sailor and the ship to my life, so I get how the last lines could be confusing.
Thank you
Hello!
VioletFantasy here to give you a quick review. This is a beautiful piece of writing! Your imagery is fantastic and made me feel like I was on the boat with the narrator, experiencing the same things that he was. The narrator has gone on many dangerous adventures, and does not know what life would be like without the ocean surrounding it's boat.
I also wanted to mention that your punctuation is perfect! You have it in all the right places and it doesn't mess up the flow of the poem. That is a hard thing to accomplish. Now, onto my favorite part of the poem:
These three lines ring so true. Our hearts do not want to stay away from chaos and trouble. That is the way of humans, and will most likely always be the way of humans. Doing nothing and staying calm is not an option. You explain this so well!
I think this poem is very well written. It has a lot of detail and depicts a sailor's life perfectly. Keep writing!
Thank you so much for your review. I appreciate it!