It stinks
of broken dreams
turned into office scenes
and an engineering degree
.
It stinks
of fetid fears
strangling innocent minds
scaring even the blind
.
It stinks
of stupid hope
killing every person on earth
as they release their bellows
.
I don't know anything about this world
or how to solve its mysteries
but I do know one thing:
it sure stinks.
----------------------------------------------
I would like to thank my brother for saying any random word so that I could make a poem out of it. The word was stinky. Thank you negus.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,447 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Hi friend jessiebear here.
Okay this poem is fan tactic. The riming is good. And the name of the poem is what made me come and have a look at it so grate job.
okay there are a little bit of problems.
Okay you need to have a little bit more full stopes in the poem like this sentence.
(I don't know anything about this world)
(killing every person on earth)
(and an engineering degree)
These sentences you need to boot a full stop in. And the little dotes in batwing the split up ports I don't no what their there for. And don't for get to boot in capital litters.
But any way I loved the poem it was fantastic so grate job. And I hope you will Keep on weighting because I am looking for word to reading more of your work. And I hope you will let me now when you have posted another poem so I can review it are say what I liked about it for you.
Any way I hope you have a fantastic day.
From jessiebear your friend.
Thank you Jessiebewr :3
You are welcome
Hey, MemoryHunter! Matthew here for yet ANOTHER review! I won't be harsh!
Anyway, this poem was a bit.. Odd, honestly. Not Like your down to earth, relatable stuff. Its more... Well, this seems more comedic than anything, but I could be wrong!
One thing I have to state is about the rhyme scheme. You don't keep a constant AA BB CC rhyme going, you switch it up, make it different. Most wouldn't like that, but... Well, I rather enjoy it!
Next are these lines,"It stinks
of broken dreams
turned into office scenes
and an engineering degree,"
Although I love the rhyme, I don't get the last part of it."engineering degree."
What does this mean. Or was it just thrown in? I would honestly like to know.
Another thing is flow. I've been a real stickler and a picky person about flow. I know. And the flow in this is somewhat constant, but it reads like it cuts off a lot.
Another thing is the last sentence. "It sure sticks." It cuts off.
! Another thing. You forget to capitalize again!
In other words, work on flow and grammar. I would love to see more of your work, honestly!
Sincerely- MatthewAaron.
About the engineering degree thing: some people are forced to take courses that they don't really want to take. Especially in my country. That's why. Sorry for confusing you though
I just made this because yay writer's block. My relatable stuff only comes out when I have a test, which is dumb. Thank you brain for making me focus on my poems instead of studying!
The rhyming, well... *cough* I made this within 5 minutes so I think I was stupid.
Thank you for this review Spudato
Oh, and I would like you to be as harsh as possible in your next review because, hey, I get inspiration from the harsh ones. (Is it weird that I smile when I hear someone criticize my work?)