The World is Turning Red

Hii, I, me, not we, is Demoness and I'll be giving you my opinion on your work!!

I L O V E:d it! Truly amazing imagery, your give such great descriptions and to that there isn't much to improve, although I think you could work a slight bit on your punctuation but the lack of it didn't disturb the flow which I thought was amazing... though it can still be a good to fix it just for the look of it When it comes to the conteent... well it was great and that's all I have to say. Sorry not to have any helpful advice but I atleast cannot find any bigger faults with this... it was close to... PERFECT! xDD

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

The world is turning red, and I, we,
are in the blush of the morning. -- what a great association of words (red-blush)


The world is turning red, and I, they,
stand by each other near tired crimson wallpaper. -- again, crimson and red

And the end:
The world is turning red, and I / do not know how to stop it.

was really great. Well-done!

I thought this poem was really good! I liked how you talked about each red thing. It seemed like a poem you would find in your English text-book about descripive writings! I thought it was ver visual and I could see each part clearly in my mind. I didn't find any grammer errors, so good job! I loved it! Keep writing!

Wow. Awesome. This is so awesome.

I really loved this but some of the line's word structures don't make total sense...

Mama digs her thumb pass the skin,
and while the juice cries out
she pries out the pit of a peach.