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140,086 Literary Works • 672,996 Reviews
This was wonderfully written, and seems very deep (although my brain is too mush right now to process it). I think the rhythm was nice, and for some reason this seemed like a very soft, calm poem. I like the imagery that you used, and also the way you repeated, "____ told it not to be afraid." I actually just now noticed that, and I think it has something to do with maturing, (you know, his mother, then, his mind, heart, and finally himself?), but like I said I'm a bit dillusional right now. @.@ So, in conclusion, this was a really cool poem and I'm hoping to see it featured. And I love your avatar.
-Dai
P.S. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes I might have made in this post. I sincerely apologize.
I like this. Very well written and very good at the description, but one line i did get held up on when I was reading was,
"it remembered a moment it was younger and smaller,"
It might read better if you put a 'when' before the second 'it'. But all in all very good and i really enjoyed reading it! Gave me more of an idea of why and elephant would be afraid of a mouse. Thumbs up!