Pouring leaves;
because they couldn't hold on.
Could have been a storm of bombs.
Cracking ground;
because it couldn't hold out.
Could have been a sea of shifting.
Writhing sky;
because it couldn't stand out.
Could have been a valley of turmoil.
Melting sun;
because it couldn't stand it.
Could have been a mountain of heat.
Holding hands;
because that's all I'd noticed.
Couldn't have been anything more.
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140,085 Literary Works • 672,996 Reviews
As Persephonia said, the imagery was extremely nice. I love the way the poetry flowed- you're a natural writer! I also extremely love your ending. At first when I read it, it seemed nonchalant, but when I read it over, it both completed the poem well, and had meaning. It was very touching. Keep on writing,
~Lindsay
"To die and part is a lesser evil, but to live and part, now there, that is the torment." ~George Landsowne
I really liked this piece... the imagery was gorgeous and the statement strong.
At first, I thought it was like.. a haiku sequence or something, until I counted out the syllables. It just has that natural rhythm to it, which is always a good thing. Great job. c:
Coral
PS.. nice Mika quote. ^^