Words
looking down from trees
branches and spotted pumpkin
leaves dusted
in flecks of gold and red
Letters
sleeping in the grass
their hooks and curves
are mixed
like long lost puzzle pieces
Speeches
running down the bark
like the amber sap
that we used to touch
and then we’d washed our hands
in the icy stream
Talks
murmuring our childish
dreams of flight and growing old
until the night would come on
and if sunshine had a sound
it would be this
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141,415 Literary Works • 674,394 Reviews
This was beautifully penned.. it has a natural flow.. I don't mean smooth here, though it was smooth, but I mean.. the flow itself reflected natural rhythms.. I don't know how to explain it. Either way.. it was perfect for this. Great imagery, powerful and beautiful last line.
Nice write, altogether.
-Coral-
It was a nice refreshing colorful piece. I was glad to see you didn't use the word "sound" at all until the very end. You used imagery pretty much throughout this whole piece, which is good.Your prospective was also enjoyable. Very clean and vibrant....
You really shined on this.
Hi! Pink here!
I liked this poem, I liked the way it sounded and the way it all flowed easily. The simplistic view and as Weaver said, the great imagery, really made this poem jump at me. I don't usually write or review poems so I don't know what else to say because this pretty good.
My favorite was the ending.
The last part made me squeal.
Now, I do think you should have added a period at the end and some punctuation marks.
Uhhh, again, I'm no good at this but I liked it
*likes*
~Pink
Wow, I like it! There's something about it that gives it a simple, natural flow while also allowing for enough depth to give us imagery and emotion. I also like the elements of nature that fill this poem; it had a strong sense of autumn to it that I think worked well. If I were to have one correction, it would probably be to expand this just a little, but I like it as is also.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver