If.

Wow. This is deep, and a little sad. It looks like Yiu really put a lot of thought into this, or you've had some personal experiences with that kind of stuff. It's really well written: not a single mistake, and the way you wrote it makes my heart ache.

It really is good, though! Thank you for posting it and letting me read something so awesome, and I hope you have a nice day! ^_^

I really loved this poem! It's so personal and I can tell exactly how you feel. That must be awful. I liked that you used punctuation in your poem. A lot of people forget about that and it really makes a difference. I loved the rhyme scheme you used. You are so talented!

I understand you its not really that easy if you're pressured that you totally need space. Good job!

Yup, its exactly what I thought would come up next on the spotlight. Gratz I guess

Hello Collideascope!
I really loved this poem! I only could find a couple of nitpicks on this one!
Dieying should be dying.
(I could see what you meant though...easy fix! )
"If you looked you would see part of me is dead,
and the other part is slowly dieying trapped inside my head."
This nitpick is very, VERY minor. You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I would suggest that you put the word that before part to make it flow a little better, really though, it is just a suggestion. You could do it either way. Overall this was a lovely piece! I especially loved the ending!
"So please. Just let me be me."
Beautiful! Keep up the good work!
-SnazzyPencil
(by the way.... *like* wonderful poem! )

I really loved this poem! It's so personal and I can tell exactly how you feel. That must be awful. I liked that you used punctuation in your poem. A lot of people forget about that and it really makes a difference. The only error I found was "and the other part is slowly dieing trapped inside my head." "Dieing" should be dying. But otherwise, you've earned yourself a like!

Intriguing poem!

One thing I'd like to help with is that all lines of a poem are capitalized. You seem to understand that poetry follows all normal punctuation rules.
I don't think you meant this poem to be in stanzas, and I think it's perfect like this.

The only punctuation thing I can see is that you should have a comma after "If you paused for just a moment."

This poem is very real. It is very personal, and you can really tell how you felt and what happened to you. I may not have been in this situation before, but I know MANY people have, so don't think you're alone. I do, however, know that people expect me to be exactly the opposite of who I want to be, so I understand the pain of people not letting you be you. I can completely feel how you felt by reading this poem, which is awesome. This is an amazing poem. I hope things get better for you if they haven't already. You should keep writing; I think many would relate to your poems.

Thanks for sharing your art on YWS

Hey, short review from me on your piece.

I am very thankful that you put the info in the description box that you're in the hospital right now, I think it just gives the reader a deeper understanding, a dive behind the fiction into reality, or wherever those two meet.
To the topic, medication which alters your personality is always a good thing to write about, offering the whole identity and role complex. I liked how you picked this up in a line 'If you took me off my medication maybe you would see the real me,' . However, you could go more into depth in the poem in general. I am loving the idea and I am getting the vibe but I think what you have written is a framework to be yet completed. Scribble away, start associating the lines with words, sounds and whatever your head tells you to do. What do you feel about medications? Your Parents?
Pick up your feelings as in ''I pray you would see'', carry on the desperation the hurt and let it all throb out!

Hope it helped

sophiewrites