Breathing.

I'm not really good at critiquing poetry, so I'm just going to say I really liked this, particularly the way every line connected together and the way the poem flowed in general. I also love how none of your rhymes felt forced. I don't write rhyming poetry, and I'm always jealous of people who can pull it off.

There are a few grammar things happening, however. The first is your oddness in capitalization. Sometimes the beginning of lines are capitalized, and sometimes they are not. Is there a reason for this? If yes, then cool, if not, then consider making it consistent but either capitalizing all of them or only the ones that come after a period.

I'll list out the rest of them with corrections. Again, if any of this is on purpose, cool, but if not, consider fixing it.

Im breathing,

But whats the point In pleading?

Isnt it funny that I’m the demon,

I guess thats why no one sees,

You’re the angel who descended from the sky’s,

Hey, Collideascope! Wise here to review quickly!

Hmm, let's see. I love how you capitalize your poem perfectly, that's good, but I noticed. "Im" should be "I'm", 'cause of course you need to make your contractions contractions.

"Breathing.

Im breathing,

at least for the moment."

Wow, grim poem. But, in your first sentence, it looks like "fleeting" is a verb. So, to avoid confusion, I suggest you change it to a verb, like "passing". I do understand your need to have good vocabulary, though, so it's okay if you don't want to change that. And, "As I find myself lying on the sidewalk bleeding" is not a full sentence. Connect it to the line below it with a comma. I also noticed that your capitalization quickly goes and comes back. What's up with that, may I ask? The last part is also a bit strange. Take out the commas after "see" and the last "me".

"But like most moments,

this one is quickly fleeting.

As I find myself lying on the sidewalk bleeding.

Your face is all I see,

As you stand quietly above me,

and begin to suffocate me,

with my own two hands."

So, I discovered the last part was rough, not at all like your first section. You should put an apostrophe in "whats". Don't capitalize "in". Apostrophes in all the contractions, actually. "Leaven" should be "left". Some commas are unnecessary, like the one after "demon", or the one after "see". Speaking of that word, you're using "see" and "me" a lot. I suggest you change that, since I despise repetition of words. "Descended" is spelled wrong, and there shouldn't be a comma in "skies", which you also misspelled.

"But whats the point In pleading?

When all I know has leaven?

Isnt it funny that I’m the demon,

when all you know is destruction.

I guess thats why no one sees,

the pain you're causing me.

Its really quite simple you see,

I just didn't see the answer in front of me.

You’re the angel who decended from the sky’s,

sent to kill the demon in disguise."

The ending was quite beautiful, though, and I love this poem overall. Just a lot of nitpicks, with nothing to worry about, not too much, anyway. So keep writing and showing off your talents, someday you will go far!

-wisegirl22

Hey there! Purple representing the Black Knights here on this wonderful review day! Let's get down to business.
Okay first thing's first, I LOVE your icon. Secondly, the last two lines made this /breath/taking (get it?). Anyway, while I like some of your clever rhyming, other part's of it sort of stuck out for me.

"But whats the point In pleading?

When all I know has leaven?"

The word 'leaven' just sticks out soooo much and I know you wanted to rhyme but that just was so obviously not working. Also, I think you should make this into one question, because the second line is not a complete statement and is not grammatically correct. It should change to:

"But what's the point in pleading

when all I know has leaven?" (or something like that)

Ironically, you do something similar in the following lines:

"Isnt it funny that I’m the demon,

when all you know is destruction."

This should change to a question, so just make the period a question mark and you're good to go!

Other than those nitpicks, this was a lovely poem and I can't wait to find the time to read more of your work!

Happy review day and good luck!
~Purple

Hi there! Delirium here to give you a review!

I had to read this multiple times to fully grasp my feelings about it. And after several scans, I've decided that I should review, because this poem is simply amazing.

By far, this is one of the best pieces (in my opinion) that I have come across so far on this site. This piece is very relatable and many readers will be able to connect with the text. The way you've organized it has given the piece a simplistic look, allowing for the words to dictate the work as a whole.

I loved the way you used the idea of demons and angels, and the end gave it an extreme twist.

The only thing I would look at is here:

You’re the angel who decended from the sky’s,

Hi there!
Well, I read your poem twice to completely digest the matter in it. It kept glued for the entire time. Let me start with some things...
1) you could have used better punctuation in some parts like instead of 'Im' you could've written 'I'm' - they enhance the look of the poem
2) your rhyming scheme is way off the scale of awesomeness, let me tell you that
3) your message is quite difficult to bring out
4) but your vocab is too amazing!

anyway, I loved your poem and I hope to read more of your works later!!
Keep writing!!!