My guardian.

WOOOOOOOW!!!! This is beautiful. Man i love poetry. I can feel how you feel for this person. how you truly do cherish and love them. It's well written, there where a few weird words kind of ruining the flow but over all it was amazing. I like a lot of phrases you use.

For that I will always be
ready to risk it all for you.
Because in this world
of lies and false hopes
I know one thing to be true,
And that is quite simply
I'm in love with you.

This part i like the extended almost metaphor you used here, it's very cute, too!!
My savior who descended from the sky,
covered in white,
and accepted the flaws
of a creature born into the night.

Here too you use this type of extended metaphor type thing you have going on in your work! It creates this beautiful flow. Keep up the great work.

I don't like the flow contrast between the first half and the second half. I do however like the comparisons and parallels between light/dark and good/evil and thus her/you. I find that an interesting way to get across how you two fit together like a jigsaw, the whole of idea of opposites completing each other. So I have no quarrel with the content, but instead the way it's delivered. Aside from some obvious grammatical issues ("*you're* parents want you to be) I think this poem could greatly be improved by simply cutting unnecessary words out. Shorter sentences are prone to flow better together, than long ones.


For example: I need to win this fight alone

before I can completely return home.

Your risking everything

going against the person,

you're parents want you to be.

Can be changed to:

I need to win this alone

before I can return home.

You're risking everything

going against the person,

your parents wanted

Aw!!!! This is absolutely the cutest thing ever XD that ending though, I absolutely squeezed!! I seriously hope you show this to her because she will love you forever.

You are very gifted at poetry, by the way!! It's emotional, loving, and sensitive all rolled up in one I really look forward to seeing what else you write!

I saw no mistakes

(Sorry, I meant this as a review)))

I don't like the flow contrast between the first half and the second half. I do however like the comparisons and parallels between light/dark and good/evil and thus her/you. I find that an interesting way to get across how you two fit together like a jigsaw, the whole of idea of opposites completing each other. So I have no quarrel with the content, but instead the way it's delivered. Aside from some obvious grammatical issues ("*you're* parents want you to be) I think this poem could greatly be improved by simply cutting unnecessary words out. Shorter sentences are prone to flow better together, than long ones.


For example: I need to win this fight alone

before I can completely return home.

Your risking everything

going against the person,

you're parents want you to be.

Can be changed to:

I need to win this alone

before I can return home.

You're risking everything

going against the person,

your parents wanted

Aw!!!! This is absolutely the cutest thing ever XD that ending though, I absolutely squeezed!! I seriously hope you show this to her because she will love you forever.

You are very gifted at poetry, by the way!! It's emotional, loving, and sensitive all rolled up in one I really look forward to seeing what else you write!

I saw no mistakes

Very well written I like the comparision to light and darkness.
Where you say
" for that I will always
Ready to risk it all for you "
I think the
"for you "
Is unnecessary I think it would flow better without it but that's just my opinion

One of the best, most emotional poems I've ever read. <3 <3 <3 It's just perfect.... <3