Heaven's Angel, Hell's Rebel
Heaven, so perfect and pristine.
Home to the angels,
who are trying to kill me.
Yet among the armies
of feathered white wings,
one angel took it upon her self
to try and save me.
How could a angel so pure,
risk it all for something so broken?
Hell's favorite rebel,
a messenger of destruction.
Who lead the charge
against Heavens perfect gates,
and for who your archangels
so passionately hate.
An ally of all fallen angels,
an enemy of The Lord.
This perfect angel
who found me,
among the ash and snow.
And for it with out a doubt,
I know I love her so.
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140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
This is an awesome poem, and it has even inspired me to write a story. I'm not sure if it will end up being a short or chaptered story. I love the things you have written and I hope you continue writing!
Thank you. And trust me I intend to keep writing
My favorite lines:
"This perfect angel
who found me,
among the ash and snow.
And for it with out a doubt,
I know I love her so.
I don't know much about poetry, but this definitely stands out to me.
Wow.
That was really oddly cool. It was confusing but it was great. It felt to me like a love story, but then it didn't, I didn't really get what it was about, but I think that was good, it left the reader wondering what was happening, and it worked really well in your favour.
I always say this, but this would a be a heck of a novel or short story, have you considered giving that a go, because you look like a heck of a writer, and I would love to see what you could do with this.
I have one question though, how come with he middle stanza you bolded it, it made it harder to read, and I didn't really see the point of it.
Anyway I couldn't help but review this, because it was a really god piece of work, and I didn't want to be left out congratulating you on this awesome poem. So great job, and a thumbs up from me
Jack
I bolded it because it focused on the "rebel" I decided normal text was kinda elegant so the text containing our rebel was bolded to kind of create contrast
I really do love the message in this story and how poems are like a puzzle to solve the meaning and with each persons diffrent opinion this is still relatable. This piece is really a lovely work and something to admired. It has a practical meaning yet it was explained so much more in a very unique way. Pacing is important and a balanced of mystery and meanings to keep your viewers reading is key. It had both emotion and a message. "How could an angel so pure, risk it all for something so broken" this was a the turning oint for me relizing the message every one can take it to heart and how it's understandable and still special is praise worthy. Also I like the way you set up your poem it was neat. Well enough of my babbling-Well done! Please do keep on writing!
This is lovely :3. I know you have heard, but you've got a really effective set of images here and you use them to the fullest. The old angel+fallen angel/opposites attract/love at any cost trope is put to work again here. Your language is lovely. Ornate, but not clunky. There are some really great passages and images (" Hell's favorite rebel,/ a messenger of destruction." resonates with me for some reason ) and they go together well. My main critique here would be that we have a relationship in isolation. We know it exists, and whats going on around it, but don't know whats going on inside of it. Which is fine. It's a short poem, a vignette of a love, and it presents the image really well. As a poem from lover to lover I hope you got the adulation you deserved :3. But as an outsider, I wanna know more! ( Nosy neighbor Johanna coming in! XD ) I wanna see what she is risking, I wanna see what this 'rebels' reaction is to being saved. This WONDERFUL battle between heaven and hell makes me wonder; are they in the fight still? Did someone win? These don't have to be answered, but I think they should be considered by the author, maybe just a little. Like I said, your imagery is beautiful. I suggest you look at Robert Hunter and R. M. Rilke, particularly the Duino Elegies. I think you might get a kick out of it. Minor grammatical errors ( 'and for Whom your archangels,'.... 'How could An angel so pure'...etc. ) But overall nothing to worry about. Im going to be reading your things often, I hope to see you around!
I love this so much. Great job!
If I could use one word to review this: Woah.
Hey
I really love this poem. I love the way its structured where you describe her then you (I'm guessing) and the last stanza which wraps up everything very neatly. I liked the imagery you have throughout this poem and the rhymes flow perfectly, there is a great and natural flow to this poem. I just really love it :p Thank you for sharing this 
What a beautiful poem! From your post on the Discrimination of the LGBT Community thread, I assume this is about your girlfriend. This poem is just so sweet! I love the imagery and the format is very cool. You used punctuation and text features very wisely. Your poem had great word choice. It had a great flow and a clear meter, as well. I didn't find any corrections to make, either, and I really like your title.
Sorry...I'm kind of gushing...this is just a really, really good poem!
*Reads again and again*
WAIT! One correction. In the first line of the second stanze, "a angel" should be "an angel".
*Likes "Heaven's Angel, Hell's Rebel"*
I really appreciate the words you use and how you use them.
This is a really strong love poem, it could be seen metaphorically or it could be seen as really between the angle and rebel.
I keep re-reading it, I really like how it sounds!
I didn't see any grammar or spelling mistakes.
Nice job!
-Phoenix
I loved the meaning behind this piece.It has one single theme.Its Love no matter what.You portrayed to completely different ideas and meshed them together to from a perfect piece.I didn't find it hard to follow or hard to understand.I didn't find many grammar mistakes.I simply adore this piece.Good luck!!