Try.
Try, to understand
You’re not the one,
Whose life, these voices demand.
The endless plight I’m living
Is enough to drive you mad.
Its easier to call my dad,
And tell him I’ve been bad.
Then to look at what you’ve done to me,
And my scars that won’t mend.
I’m trying, to pretend,
That everything you put me through
Won’t matter in the end.
Their trying to save me,
But it won’t delay my end.
Because these walls that they built around me,
only get torn down by you, in the end.
I try to make them see,
Just what you're doing to me.
But you play your cards so well.
They will never be able to tell,
You’re not a kind angel,
But a demon from hell.
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140,085 Literary Works • 672,996 Reviews
Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. I would like to begin how the tone of the poem can let anyone relate to and how well-written this poem is. The tone of this poem is how you are trying to say sorry to your parents but at the same time, you are hating them even more when you were blamed for everything. I could relate since when i fight with my parents, i cry a little in my room then afterwards i realized that it was my parents fault for making me cry and pout, fumming with hate and angry. Pus I would think anyone else could relate since many (i think) have fought with our parents over crazy things.
This is so well-written and i love how you keep relating Heaven and Hell in your poems I must admit since they are both alike or so unalike in so many ways and you just compare and contrast them so well, that I get jealous sometimes (since some of the amazing poem i have read are always better than mine.)
Farewell,
CapitalMonday
I love this! This is amazing, and I'm not lying. The rhyming scheme is perfect, and so is the setup. I only found one grammatical error, and that was the improper use of "their" where it should have been "they're" Otherwise, this is perfect! I would buy this in a store. You are an amazing author, and I'd like to see more.
Thank you alot
No problem.
Hi, I'm here to review..
First of all, I like the way you're rejecting this person though you seem helpless.
Any way.. The thing i couldn't help not noticing is the repetition of the word "end" , for me it makes the poem a bit weak. It feels like you ran out of vocabulary & you couldn't find other words to express yourself.
The other thing is, May be you should divide it into stanzas so it will be easier to read as you change the rhyme.
Overall.. nice work
I'm not going to be sad, no.. well, it was indeed a heart touching one and i can relate myself with this as I've got a step dad and not always he's so good to me.
the way you wrote your feelings is praiseworthy. it is organized.
using of your punctuation marks are wonderful.
I can't find any error in this which i should suggest you to correct.
And with time, everything will be fine. take me for example, I just don't bother how my dad react to me, how nicely he insults me and stuffs... It's nothing.
It's a big world having a lot good people.. and, you're strong, remember that.
God bless you!
thank you, god bless you as well
hey, don't worry. things will blow over. everything will be ok.
I hope so.