Here we go again,
back to where we began
Another chance I don't deserve,
one more way for you to get hurt.
Perhaps I am to used,
to being burnt by those who claim to care
too see, behind your soft and caring eyes
there is no hate,
but rather only the love you have for me.
Please look past the insecurity,
that follows me around.
Until you finally get to see,
the person that makes you happy,
the person I want to be.
Please don't get this confused,
I'm not asking for you to save me,
in fact I don't want that at all.
I want you to be the first face I see,
when I finally save myself.
Please keep in mind,
I'm trying to tear down these walls for you.
Because what we have is different
from anything I've felt before.
I think it's because you love me,
regardless of my flaws.
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140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
I love the meanings in this poem, it is very insightful and contains some very powerful imagery. However, a few things to keep in mind:
You need to take a look at your rhythm - in a lot of places the rhythm doesn't match. I'm not saying the rhythm has to match all the time, because that would make any poem too straight and a little boring.
Also, one tiny spelling mistake, 'my self' is phrased as one word, not two, so it's actually spelt 'myself'.
Apart from this I think this poem is great and a lot of people will definitely be able to relate to it - it is very powerful and covers a key teenage issue some of us have had to deal with in our lives.
Keep writing!
priceofwords
I really enjoy what this poem is about. The words are very relatable, I can defiantly fill the shoes behind this poem.
It was, unfortunately painful to read. A lot of the commas are missed placed, and some of the stanzas don't have enough commas or periods and it makes it all run together.
"Perhaps I am to used,
to being burnt by those who claim to care
too see, behind your soft and caring eyes
there is no hate,
but rather only the love you have for me."
How you have it would be read
"Perhaps I am to used, (pause here)
to being burnt by those who claim to care (don't pause)
too see, (pause here) behind your soft and caring eyes
there is no hate, (pause)
but rather only the love you have for me. (long pause)"
I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound right to me. Try reading this: ABC's of Punctuation in Poetry
The words and meaning are great, just improve how it gets read!
- Phoenix
This is So Sweet, I love this poem. Very Good, Very Open. Love this.
" Here we go again,
back to where we began
Another chance I don't deserve,"
HAd me At Damn, very powerful words. This can relate to other people, n Teens,Adults, maybe even Aliens Or some whatever. But the way you made this it feels like your reading my mind, like you know how i feel, you know these things, like you been through this and i know sometimes people are like they go through it alone like there the only person. But there not, You make them feel theres self on the inside, thats what readers need they need to Feel what the Writer is talking about. They need to know.
But i like this alot and i hope you keep writing some more of emotional, storys advetures. So we can put us inside them. in the persons shoes but Keep up the good Work.