Yo. (New words!) Let's get to it!
“Are all rusties that violent?” Laurel asks when Sky tells them what we were talking about.
“No,” I grin. “Just me.”
Calista hits Sky when he mentions the arena. I guess they say about dusty children, not rusty children. They're relieved when I tell it was a work of fiction, and not a reality." I would make this chunk a part of the previous chapter. It's kind of random and would make more sense and fit better there than it does here.
"I follow them to the back of the classroom, but not before I see him, the beautiful black-haired, albino boy." To reduce the amount of commas, consider putting a colon after him
“He’s Mr. Carter’s assistant.” Laurel says, while Calista finishes, “He sits in on classes, helps with the lectures, and with our homework…” Make what Laurel and Calista say different paragraphs. I would also put 'and helps with our homework' or take out the comma before it
“He blinks.” I have?” Don't put quotes around 'he blinks'
"I am I the only one who knows the answer? Maybe I’m wrong then."Take out the first 'I' at the beginning
"Mr., Carter turns, blinking, “Billie?” he says," No comma after 'Mr. Carter'
"He doesn’t look angry, just surprised, but Lucian ignored him as he stares at me, waiting for an answer." 'Lucian ignores' to keep it the same tense.
"if I could focus without this totally overrated, not even as hot as Laurel and Calista act like he is, gorgeous, brilliant teachers assistant out of my head." it should be 'not-even-as-hot-as-Laurel-and-Calista-act-like-he-is' because you're making it be like one word,
“My apologies, professor,” Lucian replies," capitalize Professor.
OK. OK. THE TENSION IS KILLING ME. THIS STORY IS SO GOOD. I CAN'T EVEN.
One thing I would like to say is how much I appreciate the discrimination incorporated into this with the mistrust between the races and how people treat Billie because she's 'different.' That is a huge issue all over the world- in schools, businesses, and even on streets.
Fantastic job! Off to the next chapter!
SPOILER BELOW. DONT LOOK. SPOILER BELOW!
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(I'm so close to Lucian becoming her tutor!!!!!! AAAAH -fangirls-)
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