He beat you up
And let you down
You turned your heart into stone
You lost the way
In the darkness of life
And now you follow your own
And now you're standing in the same place
Feeling the same pain
Cause you see that nothing has changed
It all remained the same
And there's nothing you can do
There's nothing you can change
Except the feeling that's inside you
That you deserve this pain
You knew the good
You saw the bad
Too sad they mixed up in your head
You build your walls
But he came in
And he's still ruining your heart
And now you're standing in the same place
Feeling the same pain
Cause you see that nothing has changed
It all remained the same
And there's nothing that you can do
There's nothing that you can change
Except the feeling that's inside of you
That you deserve this pain
I heard you cry
I saw your pain
It's more than words can describe
It never stopped
It never changed
You won't fight nor run away
And now you're standing in the same place
Feeling the same pain
Cause you see that nothing has changed
It all remained the same
And there's nothing that you can do
There's nothing that you can change
Except the feeling that's inside of you
That you deserve this pain
Just close your heart
And walk away
Leave it all behind
And follow God's way
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Wow,this is really good. The message is simply beautiful. I like the depth of your words and i can actually feel you pain.
Keep up the good work. This is amazing!
It's very dark, I like it. I love the way you've structured it, it's almost like a song and it works really well. I also like how the last stanza is a different length to the other short stanzas and I especially like the forth stanza. It's a beautiful piece of work but in a deep, shadowy way.
You might want to change "You build your walls" To: "You built your walls" I loved the entire thing. The big wall of text that came in the middle after two short- 3 line stanzas surprised me, but after I mentally prepared myself to read it, I liked it, a lot. Good Job, Keep Writing!
My favorite lines:
I can relate to this...in different ways...Brilliant!
Better and better! *Hitting like again!*
I love the last two stanzas!
Keep writing these poems!
~FW~