Wrap Me in Your Words

Edit: I think that I should remove it...

Beautiful.

This captures exactly the tense atmosphere between two supposed lovers, people who may have been involved before, or two friends who are both too aware of each others' intentions, and separate themselves from one another because of the cold silence that rings between them.

The only way to break it is to mention something, which can leave you with a bruised ego.

Bravo.

Keep writing!

After the first line I was already formulating the brilliant review I was going to write for this (Brilliant as in the poem is brilliant not the review ). The language, in the first stanza especially, was incredible in creating powerful, romantic images that were unique and well thought out.
I haven't got much to say other than that other than that I couldnt really understand the last stanza as well as the others. Maybe could you explain the meaning there to me so I can get the most out of the poem? Of course its up to you and as long as it satisfies your need to express then its irrelevant whether I understand or not.
Anyway, fantastic poem!
Pollarbear

Hi,good day qaralynn:)

yeah,it is a very fantastic poem for me!All the stanzas are great with a perfect rhythm and I really like this one;

' I stumble along while your words are still asleep, I can only wake them with a gunshot.
We falter once again because I can not walk straight under your stare.
Retreat is all I can think of now. I need time to strengthen what´s left of my dignity. '

Good job buddy:)

AHH. I squealed with pleasure after reading through the first stanza!! It was nearly perfect! It was gorgeous and evoked so much, like I couldn't even stand it! It just seemed like the speaker was genuinely speaking to her partner, not to mention the gorgeous imagery of the coat burning away, the feeling of the cold and the fire. But after this stanza, the poem lost much of its strength.

Especially toward the end, there's a lot of confusion. The words suddenly become a character, it seems, where before they were just an inanimate object, which throws off the feeling of the one on on relationship. I mean, it's entirely okay. Maybe that's what you want for the whole poem, but I'd recommend choosing: either two or three presences for the entirety of the poem. It's hard to pull off a shift in so short of a poem unless it's the main focus of what your words are going for, which I don't think is the case here: you're building the tone of the relationship -- a moment of freezing and reflection.

That said, this next part will go against advice I normally give. I see that you worked really hard to bring in a lot of sights -- shivers racking, arms, bones, blue shade, etc., but the image of the first stanza is so burningly strong that I think you could afford to take a couple stanzas off to evoke tone and narrative rather than building on an image. Of course you could dip back into images when necessary, but moving on from so powerful a moment to describe ones less powerful does injustice to that great first stanza.

Even if you weren't going to go that route, I'd say find something stronger to focus on than the idea of arms holding someone. It doesn't even compare to the burning coat and the distance of summer -- it seems too weak.

That said, this is going to be great. I can just feel it!
Lemme know when you post edits~ Good luck and PM or wall-post me if you have any questions, please.