Dark Side of The Moon

by qaralynn

  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

Published September 7, 2012

In poetry

PreviousNext
We no longer look at a full moon,
Thinking of you doesn't feel right.
We respect this unspoken rule
not to cry under the same moonlight.
 
Instead we only look up at dark nights,
when even the stars don't bother to show.
We stare at the dark moon, barely any light.
And before this circle, we let our tears flow.
 
We cry in darkness and silence alone.
That hidden part will always remain;
Our sorrows, even for each other unknown.
On the dark side of the moon, we hid our pain.
Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
murtuza
Comment
murtuza commented Comment · Sep 11, 2012

Hey, qara! This is not a review, but just a few lines of my adoration for this poem. ^.^

This is such a beautiful piece, qara. I see myself returning to this poem every so often and feel a sort of resonance that I think you must have felt when you wrote it.

If you're looking for any sort of criticism, the only thing I'd suggest doing is to just try to reduce the word count on each line. That way, you can say much more with much little instead of making it too self-explanatory, y'know?

The first and the last stanzas are my favourite. Great job, qara. I always look forward to reading your heart-felt poetic expressions.

*squishes*

Murtuza
:)

User avatar
zephion
Review
zephion wrote a review Review · Sep 8, 2012

Hey qara!

Great poem, I really like it!

But okay, I have to nitpick. One thing I might do is switch "not" and "to" in the fourth line. I think that this will make more grammatical sense, Well, um, that's kinda it. This is really great, it's short, simple and very well written. I particularly like the last stanza. Well, thanks for sharing this, and sorry I couldn't say more to help.

Zeph



I’d heard he had started a fistfight in one of the seedier local taverns because someone had insisted on saying the word “utilize” instead of “use".
— Patrick Rothfuss, A Wise Man's Fear