When something beautiful doesn't work out...<3
This raging storm resembles my heart,
The thunder and lightening, pulling me apart.
The rain just keeps on tearing down,
Drilling deep holes into the ground.
I used to stand steady, stable on my own feet,
But the ground is becoming muddy, too slippery.
Your extended hand I shall not hold onto,
This fall I shall take, because I have to.
This is me, having fought a war within myself.
This is me, hiding the feelings I have for you,
Storing them away on an old wooden shelf.
This is me, trying not to let my love pour through.
Broken light bulbs lay scattered around,
All these ideas that we had, their light died out.
Glass shards still linger from when I let them fall,
I spoke with honest words and ruined it all.
You haven't given up on feeding them energy,
But it can't fix them, lights are now within you and me.
Whenever I smile, know it's you who taught me how to,
See my tears as awards for the beautiful heart within you.
This is me, having fought a war within myself.
This is me, hiding the feelings I have for you,
Storing them away on an old wooden shelf.
This is me, trying not to let my love pour through.
Wow, this really spoke to me.
I cant get over the lines
Your extended hand I shall not hold onto,
This fall I shall take, because I have to.
So powerful!!!
I almost feel as though you could have a little more dealing with the light bulbs, just because its so good when you bring them into this poem.
wonderful!!!
Wow! This poem is amazing!
This is a beautiful poem, I just have a few minor suggestions or comments. They will be in ()'s.
You don't have to take any of them, If you like the way it is feel free to keep it so.
This raging storm resembles my heart,
The thunder and lightening,
pulling me apart.
The rain just keeps on tearing down,
Drilling deep holes into the ground.
(moved 'Pulling me Apart')
I used to stand steady,
stable on my own feet,
But the ground is becoming muddy,
too slippery (for me).
Your extended hand I shall not hold onto,
This fall I shall take, because I have to.
(moved 'stable on my own feet'; moved 'too slippery')
This is me, having fought a war within myself.
This is me, hiding the feelings I have for you,
Storing them away on an old wooden shelf.
This is me, trying not to let my love pour through.
(I love the way this one rhymes)
Broken light bulbs lay scattered around,
All these ideas that we had, their light died out.
Glass shards still linger from when I let them fall,
I spoke with honest words and ruined it all.
(the section of the second line doesn't rhyme as well as the others, but it still sounds okay.)
You haven't given up on feeding them energy,
But it can't fix them, lights are now within you and me.
Whenever I smile, know it's you who taught me how to,
See my tears as awards for the beautiful heart within you.
(this section doesn't rhyme like the others, I suggest using a Thesaurus in the future to look at other options if you are having a hard time writing.)
This is me, having fought a war within myself.
This is me, hiding the feelings I have for you,
Storing them away on an old wooden shelf.
This is me, trying not to let my love pour through.
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I love the story you have in this poem. Your rhyming is pretty good, with a few strange areas.
Beautiful<3