a/n: hey, thanks for checking out Starry Veins! This is the novel I wrote for Round V of LMS, and it's still a first draft! While I don't discourage any feedback, I prefer not to receive feedback on grammar! I'm not polishing this draft up yet, so I'm not as concerned about editing. I am, of course, open to all feedback, but I ask that you keep this in consideration! Thanks <3
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[Rowan]
Rowan watched the motions of Enoch preparing camp, while the rest of them sat bound and idle on the road nearby and couldn’t concentrate on anything.
The gag that sat in their mouth was soaked and cold, saliva precipitating on the corners of their mouth and their cheeks. They tried to focus on that, and on their discomfort. They needed to think of some way to escape.
Our sweetest Eugenia.
If you’re reading this, it means that you are old enough, or that something has gone wrong. You have never been one to like skirting around issues, so we will describe it plainly.
You and the other children are not of the Chroniclers’ Guild. The six of you are a legacy, you carry the blood of Stellarsyl in your veins. You have, no doubt, been told of trueblood by this point, and the magic and power it carries. That trueblood, the blood of kings and queens and the powerful, runs through you. You are the daughter of Chromium, of Queen Inga. The girl in your place, Princess Eydís, is a decoy, planted by the Chroniclers’ Guild.
It is believed by the council that trueblood could be the key to accessing the ruins across the lands, as trueblood runs back to the foundations of Stellarsyl and is older than the ruins themselves. An explorer of relation to Summermount’s truebloods was the only one who ever got close to the ruins. Until he disappeared, of course, en route to the Viridian Isles.
I don’t know how you will, or are, taking this information. Regardless of your feelings, you have always been family to Florence and I, and we both love you very deeply.
Yours with most sincerity and love, Genevieve and Florence.
A warm breeze was rolling through the outpost tower. Enoch had opened all the windows and was crouched in front of the fireplace now, attempting to start a flame with little success.
They needed something to focus on. They needed something else to think about. Most importantly, the others had to know, soon.
Ember was watching Enoch like he was a puzzle. Enoch was an adult, arguably more competent and matured and smarter than they were, with a sword and a nasty attitude, but the way Ember was looking at him… Gods help him.
And Ember’s fire… That wasn’t natural magic. There was something profoundly wrong about her magefire.
Artemesa made a sound in her throat, her tiny snout scuffed from the rope. Cassius looked at her mournfully and glanced towards Enoch. Their kidnapper had his back turned to them.
Cassius began fumbling with the rope to remove it, eyeing Enoch as he did so.
Ember was not watching Cassius. She put her elbows on her knees and leaned forward, face in her hands. “What’s the point of keeping the gag on Ori anyway? They’re not going to do anything.”
Enoch turned. There was half a second where Rowan saw his eyes flicker towards Cassius. Enoch saw Cassius fumbling to remove the rope from Artemesa’s snout. Then he was looking at Ember again and frowned. “Who the— who’s Ori?” Enoch asked. Another glance so quick if one blinked, they’d miss it, this time towards Alanna, who kept glancing at Cassius unsubtly.
“That’s Ori.” Ember pointed towards Rowan. “Short for Oriole.”
“But you called them Rowan before.”
She nodded wisely. “Yeah. They’re also Oriole.” Ember turned and held out her hands towards Cassius. “That’s Rascal. And that’s Little Pika. We have names for each other.”
Cassius immediately put his hands in his lap when attention was directed at him. The rope was clearly hanging off Artemesa’s snout, not longer secure, but she remained still and didn’t attempt to knock it off.
Enoch wrinkled his nose. “Your bird better not bite me, or my things,” he said. “Or I’ll put something worse on her.”
Cheeks darkening, Cassius nodded. Tentatively, he reached out with his still-bound hands, and began to slowly remove the muzzle from her snout. He tossed it nearby when Enoch made no motions to stop him.
“What’s yours then?” Enoch asked, sitting down on the stone floor and leaning against the fireplace, looking back towards Ember.
Her brow creased. “What’s my what?”
“Your name.”
Ember’s cheeks darkened. “Ember. It doesn’t matter. Why are you asking? Why do you care? You suck at starting fires anyway.”
“Ori could start a fire to you if you took their gag off,” Cassius mentioned casually. He was gently rubbing the irritated skin along Artemesa’s nose, to which she was cooing and pushing her head into his hand.
“So, they can burn me, and you can all escape, I assume?”
Cassius shrugged. “I can do magic too, and you haven’t gagged me.”
Enoch scowled. “I might just gag you anyway.”
This provoked a giggle from Alanna, which she quickly attempted to cover up. She sat up straightened and glanced away, as if pretending to look more regal everyone would pretend that hadn’t happened.
“I could keep talking until you ungag them,” Cassius suggested, tilting his head.
“I could gag you too,” Enoch pointed out.
Ember leaned towards Cassius which a honey smile. That was her smile when she Wanted something. “Can you gag all of us?” she asked.
That was a stupid question. Of course, he could. It would be a sure thing to stop the annoying children you’d kidnapped to simply stop talking.
But Enoch just… turned away, back to the fire, with an irritated grunt. “The four of you should sleep. There will be a long walk tomorrow, and I won’t have you brats whinging about it on the way.”
They caught Ember’s eye and made a go on gesture with their hands, as best they could with the ropes. She smiled and gave him a thumbs up.
“Where are we going?”
For a moment, with the only sound a distant lull of birdsong and the crack of flint as Enoch attempted to light the fire, they thought he was going to ignore her.
Then, in a low tone, Enoch said, “North.”
* * *
Rowan had to tell the others.
Enoch had taken their gag off last night. There was a possibility that it was to stop Ember and Cassius’ antics, but… he had allowed Artemesa’s muzzle to come off. He had taken Rowan’s gag off. There was something off about this, about Enoch. They glanced towards the sword strapped to his hip, and the emblem of Chromium at its hilt.
It was only nearing noon, and there was already sweat clinging to their clothes and skin. The sun bore down upon them, lighting up the industrial road like polished silver and soaking into the darkness of their clothes.
If they Rowan had known they needed to wear clothes to travel in and wear comfortably for a good while… well.
How long were they going to keep up this charade with Enoch anyway? He made it sound as though he was heading towards Glacier’s Keep. Wasn’t Glacier’s Keep in a fit anyway?
Because of us.
Ember sidled up at their side and gently bumped their shoulder. They blinked and shook their head to clear it. It didn’t help.
“What’d the note say?” she whispered, so quiet they could barely hear her.
Their stomach turned, and they stared forward. Enoch was paying them no attention, but that didn’t make it any easier. From the corner of their eyes, they spotted Cassius glancing over curiously.
“They said they’re sorry. Your parents. For lying.” They swallowed hard, their throat dry as the Ruby Desert.
Ember tripped but caught herself. “What?”
“Shh,” Rowan advised her, as Enoch’s shoulders twitched. After a few moments had passed, and Enoch no longer seemed to be on lookout, they leaned closer and faced away from him. “Em, you know how Glacier’s Keep and Summermount are missing their trueblood heirs?”
She nodded, keeping herself focused ahead.
“All of them are missing. The letter says that we’re the trueblood heirs.”
Ember reeled back, tripping and catching herself on the rope by grabbing it. Enoch glanced behind and gave them a tug. The rope jolted on Rowan’s wrist and Ember fumbled to keep herself steady.
“Keep moving,” Enoch grunted, and turned away again.
For a moment, Ember’s face screwed up, like she was trying to figure out a complex problem. Then she gave them an incredulous look. “That’s ridiculous,” she said under her breath. “The truebloods are… No, we’re not.”
“But it makes sense.” It did, after horrible contemplation. Margaretta had known the truebloods heirs were all missing, and how else but that she had them under her thumb all along?
But why? For power? For control? For chaos?
“Tell the others,” they whispered. Their stomach rolled jarringly and clenched. They glanced down at their hands. “Please. Margaretta knew the heirs were gone. The meeting Cassius overheard, the grey masked men looking for us at the Citadel. They were after us. They knew too. It adds up.”
Looking uneasy, Ember shuffled over to Cassius on her other side, and leaned in so close to him it was hard to tell which one was which. Save for the stark orange of Ember’s hair in contrast to Cassius’ paler, fawn coloured curls.
Rowan glanced towards Alanna, on their right. How would she take this kind of information? They needed to figure this out together, not with anyone else’s involvement. And Alanna was so young…
They leaned down close to her, and she side-eyed them.
“There was a letter in Em’s pocket, from her mums,” they said, softly. “Do you remember when we spoke about the truebloods? That day in the village?”
Alanna nodded, listening studiously.
“The trueblood heirs are all missing because we’re the truebloods, Pika,” they murmured, and then drew away. Their pulse fluttered. Alanna deserved to know as much as any of them.
The second child of the north was never found. It fit together far too perfect, too conveniently. If they were right, Isadora was then the eldest heir of Glacier’s Keep, and Alanna the second princess that went missing. That would make Mishal the prince of Summermount, themself the heir of the Viridian Isles, Cassius the prince of Heaven’s Keep, and Ember the princess of Chromium.
Alanna looked suddenly and deeply troubled, concern etched out in full detail across her young features. “But truebloods are royalty. That would mean—”
“If I hear any more whispering about your conspiring plans to escape, I’ll gag the four of you. Or maybe I’ll just scalp you,” Enoch growled over his shoulder.
Enoch, even after a few days, seemed to be entirely bark and no bite, but that didn’t mean that Rowan wanted to learn whether that was true or not.
Presented with a new dilemma, Alanna looked confused, eyebrows dipping down quite far. “You’ll shave our hair off?” she asked, alarmed. “But if you’re taking us north, it will be cold.”
Rowan glanced down at Alanna and felt a sharp pang against their heartstrings. She was so young and for all her mind now, she was still so innocent.
They reached over awkwardly, arm bent at an angle, and put it around Alanna’s shoulders. She leaned into them instantly, head resting against their side.
If
Margaretta knew that Isadora and Mishal were vitally important to the
political landscape of Stellarsyl, why had she taken them on a
perilous adventure to the forsaken ruins?
word count:
1,900
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I hope we get to figure out what that letter said! c:

OMG WE DID AHHHHHH. I can't believe they are all about to know the truth
Also, it was probably super obvious that the parents already knew about all of this, especially the way some of them avoided having a conversation about it, but I assumed that the parents didn't know about it. They didn't agree to having their babies taken away from them, right, it just kinda happened? Or did they? I kinda forgot cx but I find it interesting that they seem rather okay with replacing their child, or at least that's what it seems like to me.
...in a good way somehow, I hope :c
Is he going to let Cassius keep it off? c:
YAY, that's niceeeee <3
Alanna's so cute
I think you meant to have either "Rowan" or "they" :p Also, personally, I wouldn't use "wear" twice. Maybe you can just combine the two parts to keep the sentence concise and less wordy? (...they needed to wear comfortable clothes to travel in...)
Aww I hope they don't feel guilt about the whole situation
AHH I CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYONE KNOWS THE TRUTH NOW. This is going to change everything oof
SHE'S SO PRECIOUS
I guess we'll all get to see :c
I still can't believe everyone knows the truth now xD Imagine how shaking that news must be. You might feel that your whole life is a lie and start doubting all the people you used to trust. Like their parents. I'm sure they all loved their children like their own, but I wouldn't be surprised if some of the kids felt hurt, even betrayed.
This is getting super exciting c:
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Continuing on the reviwathon,
First Impression: So they finally know. They're taking it remarkably well although considering the things that have been happening around them they can't exactly deny it.
That's a great description there to start out with.
So the parents knew. That makes things more interesting. Also nice letter. Its short but to the point, exactly the sort of letter you'd want to write to convey something like this.
A warm breeze was rolling through the outpost tower. Enoch had opened all the windows and was crouched in front of the fireplace now, attempting to start a flame with little success.
That's interesting now. So this guy is not entirely capable of doing this? Or is he?
Cassius managed to loosen that with his hands bound? Wow.
That is such a ten year old thing to do. Your depiction of these individual personalities and ages are very much spot on.
This continued to get suspicious now. What is this guy actually planning on doing?
Once again this conversation would be easier if we knew a bit more about where each character is in relation to each other.
That was a bad sentence to open with instead of getting to the point.
Now that is exactly what I would like to know.
This is good to see that they are not keeping this from Alanna just because she's young.
That's some great deductions but I think you should mix this up a bit better. The way this is laid out it looks a bit too much like a list of the princes and princesses in proper order of them being swapped.
Another classic ten year old moment.
Now that is the million dollar question isn't it?
And that's it for this.
Overall: Nice little scene where they figure all this out. Now I think these four are somehow going to end up running into the other two and everyone discovers it. Or maybe they are taken to one of the kingdoms. I guess I'll read on to find out.
As always take what you think is useful and forget the rest.
Another thing I've noticed is that Rowan refrained from using his magic to avoid giving away his abilities but this chapter suggests that Enoch figured that out anyway.
Stay Safe
Harry
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh everyone knows now and omg I honestly just LOVE watching everyone comprehend the news. I love that Rowan does not withhold information from even Alanna. I love that Alanna is like "look, rowan, we have to be royalty" and then promptly gets distracted by the idea of being bald. Her priorities are dead on and I love her so much.
Also lulz at Cassius sneaking off the muzzle. NOT VERY SNEAKY, SIR, but yay Artemesa is free <3
Oh yeah, we don't even know Cassius' reaction. But at least no one's making an obvious fuss aobut it that tips off Enoch. That's a good thing.
I really wonder what they'll all do with this new information now. I really adore Rowan. It was probably concerning just having Rowan's narration suddenly say that they pieced this all together and explaining it in a hurry, but I mean... it's very realistic for Rowan to have pieced it all together by now. Enough time has passed, and they're such a bright individual, they were able to accept it as truth for all the reasons the reader can agree with. So I think that was done well.
I was curious about the order of Rowan figuring out which kid belongs to which kingdom. Isadora and Alanna are the two obvious ones. That leaves, I guess, Ember as the missing princess, but that probably leaves the rest as simply knowing how old each current prince and princess is and who lines up with who. Which, of course, Rowan would undoubtedly have a good estimation of who old everyone is and can line that up. I just wonder why Mishal was the next heir they figured out -- maybe because Summermount's prince just celebrated a birthday?
So basically, I don't really follow their train of thought in how they matched everyone to their rightful decoy. But I like that they at least figured it out because they're smart af.
I'm worried about if Enoch finds out this information. He mentioned earlier that the situation changes if the kids were nobles of some sort. But what if they were truebloods? He'd probably just return them for the reward. He doesn't seem smart enough to think twice about whether that's a good idea or not. I wonder if he has friends to help him on that kind of quest.
But then if Enoch never finds out... I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN AHHHHHHHHHHH
Hello Mellifera, here to drop off a wee review
I'll admit that I haven't yet read the rest of your work, but this section has me greatly intrigued to go back and discover the story up to this point. I can't say that I've managed to spot any negatives in this chapter - well done!
Overall, I love the interactions between your characters. The flow of conversation seems very natural, and even without having caught up on the rest of the story I can already sense the relationship dynamics between them. This is also the first story I have read with a character that uses neutral pronouns, and that in itself is welcomingly refreshing!
I look forward to reading more!
thank you for the review!!