Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for violence and mature content.
a/n: hey, thanks for checking out Starry Veins! This is the novel I
wrote for Round V of LMS, and it's still a first draft! While I don't
discourage any feedback, I prefer not to receive feedback on grammar!
I'm not polishing this draft up yet, so I'm not as concerned about
editing. I am, of course, open to all feedback, but I ask that you keep
this in consideration! Thanks <3
*
[Cassius]
“Cassius.”
He shook his head, picking up his pace back the way he had come. “Get into the trees. There’s no telling who it is anyway, and I don’t want anyone to see you. Not everyone knows nothing about dragons like Enoch.”
She hesitated, before turning and bounding away towards the pines rising towards the sky, massive, towering trees that shuddered their great boughs caught in an invisible breeze.
He couldn’t even see the tower when the strike of the horses’ hoofbeats came up beside him.
“Excuse me,” a voice said. “Sir, I was wondering if you might know the distance to the Blessed Gates from here?”
He didn’t glance up. “Uh—” He coughed, blocking his face with an elbow, then lowering his voice as he said, “Least a week’s ride, dunno. Haven’t been on a horse in a while.”
“Rough walking on foot,” said the same voice. “You need any help on your way?”
Cassius stopped and carefully peered up. The one speaking to him had pulled up beside him, horse and rider looming over him. They had pale ginger-ish hair, much blonder than Ember’s, and warm brown eyes. They were smiling amiably, and he offered one back.
“That’s all right, I think. I’m just getting to the watchtower,” he said, and nodding respectfully.
The other two riders watched him curiously. One was a short woman with a round face and hair pulled back in an inch-long braid of black hair, riding a chestnut with gentle eyes. The one at the back was a not-much-taller young man with a cropped, fawn beard that surrounded his mouth and narrowed eyes. He pulled something from his hip, a piece of paper, and looked at it. Then back up at Cassius.
“Well, you have a lovely day then,” the first rider said. They squeezed their heels into their horse.
He let out a quick breath as the two riders went back to a contained trot.
“Wait.”
Cassius glanced back up at the man again, tucking the paper away.
“What’s your name?” asked the man, guiding his horse closer. The paint snorted, then stretched out her neck when she was close enough to sniff Cassius.
He held his breath, not quite sure why, and averted his gaze towards the paint’s hooves. They were white. “Uh. Hyacinth.”
“Look up at me for a moment, if you would, Hyacinth.”
“Ezera?” The first rider had turned their horse and approached the young man. “Is there a problem?”
Cassius carefully glanced between the two, his muscles tense and shoulders drawn together. This was such a terrible idea. This was such a terrible idea.
Ezera leaned down towards him. Then he smiled and leaned back. “No, no problem. In fact, I think it’s the opposite of a problem. This is one of the kids. The cloudblood.”
The first rider frowned and looked towards Cassius.
He glanced towards the edge of pines, where he knew the tower lay beyond. He’d gone further than he’d meant to. Much further than he should have.
The first rider said something, but he didn’t hear it, not with all the blood rushing to his ears. The corner of his eye caught movement and he saw as Ezera suddenly lunged forward on his horse, grabbing for him.
Cassius ran.
“EMBER! ENOCH!” He toed the edge of the road, heart slamming against his chest.
A hand grabbed the back of his vest and he was violently yanked upwards. He kicked out, trying to fight the hand as he was dragged up onto a black and white patched neck.
“EMBER! EN—” Another hand covered his mouth and he shook his head to dislodge it. The hand didn’t leave his mouth, and the other situated him securely on the horse.
“The other one has to be nearby,” the short woman said nearby. She rode up in front of the horse he’d been dragged onto, and held a bow at the ready he hadn’t seen moments before. “Sounds like the girl from Chromium.”
“No,” the first rider said. “Didn’t you read the report? They’re were with a knight. We only need one.” They spurred their horse around, the way they had rode from. “He’s more than enough.”
Cassius tried to bite Ezera’s hand, but couldn’t get a purchase around his palm. He tried to fling himself off. The paint went in circles, reins dangling on her neck, as Ezera’s grip constricted around him.
A shrill cry rose up from the side of the road. Artemesa charged the woman and headbutted straight into their horse, who screamed and leapt forward. The horse took off, until the woman gained control of the reins and turned the horse around again. Artemesa whirled towards the paint, towards Cassius.
Artemesa snarled and leapt forward, and while she was in mid-air, he heard the whistle of an arrow.
Ezera let go of his mouth to grapple at the reins and yank the paint out of Artemesa’s path. Artemesa fumbled, stretching out a claw towards the paint and catching the man’s lower leg. At the same time, she cried out. Cassius forgot about fighting as pain lanced through his shoulder and he yelped in time with her.
An arrow was sunk into Artemesa’s shoulder, the joint where her wrings extended.
“Mesa!” he panted and tried to elbow Ezera. He hit air. Another arrow whistled and Artemesa cried out against. Pain lanced through a place Cassius didn’t even know existed, and he watched the next arrow tear a path through her beautiful, vibrant wings.
Artemesa snarled and turned on the woman with the bow. She took off at a full sprint and spread her wings. She hadn’t learned to fly yet, but she knew how to propel herself. The woman nocked an arrow and drew it back as Artemesa leapt into the air towards her. She let the arrow go as Artemesa knocked her right off her horse. The chestnut squealed, bleeding still from his side, and took off towards the first rider, who was riding hard back.
Another sharp pain hit him in the chest. But Artemesa was ignoring the arrows and pinning the woman to the ground. Without a hesitation, he watched her clamp her jaw around the woman’s neck. The woman’s hand, still clutching the bow, went immediately limp.
“Shit!” Ezera shouted. “Sollie!”
The first rider, Sollie, was rubbing some sort of ointment on their blade, staring at where Artemesa was still holding the woman’s neck in a death lock, like he’d seen Lore do so many times before to mice. Sollie put aside the ointment aside, narrowed their eyes, and drew back their arm.
“ARTEMESA!” He wriggled, ignoring the bruising pain that the movement caused. He kicked back against, and the dagger in his boot caught the stirrup, jarring his ankle bone. The dagger.
Sollie threw his blade, just as Artemesa lifted her head, her snout scarlet and dripping.
The sword, though not especially long or large, sunk into her shoulder, beside the arrow.
Cassius howled as Artemesa did and punched Ezera in the chest with the force of his pain. Ezera cursed and grappled him, still with one hand on the reins. Cassius felt his balance slipping and tried to pitch off the horse again. Tears burned his eyes and dripped down his face.
“Artemesa,” he panted, wriggling over up he was face-to-chest with Ezera. “Let me go let me go let me go.”
“Cassius.”
“Stop wiggling.”
He twisted to look over his shoulder. Artemesa had her head bent towards the sword and was breathing quick and heavy. With every flare of her nostrils, her head bobbed up and down a little more. Her eyelids shuttering, the glow of her eyes dimming the further they shut.
“MESA!” he screamed. “MESA!”
Ezera spurred the horse further, riding right past Artemesa as she crumpled to the ground. Cassius lunged for the dagger in his boot and curled his fingers around the hilt. Ezera caught his shirt and pulled him back, with the other hand on the reins, and then glanced down. “Oh sh—”
Cassius brought up the dagger and sunk it into Ezera’s left eye.
Ezera shouted, and now with an opportunity, Cassius slid out of his grip. His shoulder crunched under him as he hit the road. Black spots burst over his vision, but he still forced himself up, muscles aching and all a wreck. He got to his feet and his vision started to clear. Artemesa was a good thirty yards away. He began to run towards her.
He hardly got any closer when the thunder of hoofbeats came from behind him. He tried to push himself further, harder, faster.
Something cracked against the back of his head.
The
last thing he heard was a distant scream of his name.
word count:
1,462
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Hellooooooooo
Spoiler
Omg xD
So, they're not bad, right?...
Are you kidding me :c
I'm assuming that piece of paper is a picture of the truebloods. How many groups of people are looking for these kids? :O or are they affiliated with the grey masks?
Is "cloudbood" another term for trueblood? perhaps it depends on where you came from as to which word to use? But I really like the word cloudblood :p
GOOOOOO CASSIUS
Whaaaat? What are you talking about?
DUDE WHY DO THEY ONLY NEED ONE. also, they also know they are with a knight, so maybe they are associated with the grey mask dudes
also I pointed something out in bold but it's grammar so it doesn't really matterCan all horses be referred to as "paint" or is it a certain breed or something? I'm just curious cause I've never heard of that before c:
YESS MESA TO THE RESCUE
WHAT. WHAT.
Woah, so they both feel each other's pain? That's so cool; they're both so connected! c: well, I guess it's not also cool because ouch
How many times is the poor dragon going to get hit?
Looks like Mishal helped you, Cassius :p
Okay, I don't think you are going to kill off Artemesa, so I'm not that worried, but I feel terrible for her [/s]don't prove me wrong[/s]
ouch
of course you left it on a cliffhanger
I'm hoping the distant scream was Ember or Enoch and they're coming to save Cassius, and then they'll all have a heartfelt reunion where Enoch and Ember will say "see, I told you not to go too far," and Cassius will say "I know, I'm sorry, teach me sword fighting please" and they will be happy and Mesa will heal very quickly <3
Omg this was exciting. So they clearly weren't wearing Grey Masks, but they were also hired to hunt them down. Probably by the Grey Masks or whoever the Grey Masks work for. So it's pretty much just as bad AND OH MY GOD I AM SO PROUD OF CASSIUS AND ARTEMESA.
Okay can I just say that I am SO happy Artemesa is actually defending Cassius here. I know she's always worried about him despite having to hide from sight once in a while, but now we're finally seeing some value from her character. She came out of hiding to help Cassius and defend him from these people about to kidnap him.
Also can we talk about how Cassius is getting kidnapped again because I mean he was kidnapped by Enoch before and now by these guys and I just.
Just an uncanny coincidence. It's unavoidable considering they're being hunted down. But ALSO he put up a DAMN GOOD FIGHT. I'm so proud of my boy. I'm also glad he remembered his dagger, and not only did he remember to use his dagger, but he stabbed him in the goddamn eye like omG DID YOU JUST GIVE SOMEONE AN EYEPATCH I LOVE EYEPATCH CHARACTERS
This fight scene was done really well, I followed along the entire time. I was cheering on Artemesa and was freaking impressed that she was able to fight them off as well as she did. I definitely screamed IRL when she got shot and the woman had it coming because how DARE she shoot Artemesa. That is rude and uncalled for yet totally consistent with the dragon-killing thing we've learned a long time ago but I still hate her for harming Artemesa so it's a whole thing.
ALSO they totally confirmed Ember as the Chromium heir and I'M PRETTY HYPED ABOUT THAT. They also gave away Cassius' as the cloud prince, but I am not as quick to identify that kingdom if we've identified it already.
Though I have to wonder how they know who Ember is. I... feel like they wouldn't know any of these heirs' names, so they'd have to go by appearance. BUT someone could have given their names, like an insider of some sort seeking to turn them over to the kingdom. Or a kingdom spy/Grey Mask... oh yeah. Yeah, the Grey Masks probably figured out their names anyway if they were able to locate them to begin with, so that all adds up. They undoubtedly have connections with the Grey Masks. (That is totally my theory right now fight me.)I really hope that's Enoch and Ember approaching and ready to save Cassius because Iw oulD FLIP if Enoch fails to protect the kids here. oh but dude I am totally intrigued by the fact that the one guy was wary of approaching Enoch because he was a knight. Or... he thinks Enoch is currently a knight, though Enoch was pretty clear before that he no longer is considered a knight. So there's a disconnect between characters here that really just makes it all the more curious. And I think Enoch could totally use this to his advantage because, well, he doesn't care what this guy thinks. ...Unless the guy recognizes him. But if that's not the case, Enoch isn't going to bother correcting this guy if he thinks Enoch is still a knight AND HE'LL SAVE CASSIUS AND THEY'LL BE ON THEIR MERRY WAY.
I'm also super sad that this ended a chapter because I really need to know the outcome of this fight and this usually indicates I have to wait and hnnnnnnnnnnnng don't make me //cry
rip me for not making things apparent I'm sorry for the confusion!!
1) it is the Grey Masks (that was? the little bit where Artemesa was like "but where are they coming from" and Cassius was like "oh no, from the direction I hear the horses coming"? but if that wasn't clear enough, I'll definitely keep that in mind!!). would it be correct for me to assume it was because they weren't wearing grey masks? because that is not as much of an identifying feature as the kids think it is, but if that's unclear, I might take some of their other masks away earlier and hopefully that will clear it up??
2) It was confirmed by Ori earlier who was the heir to which kingdoms? It's their birthdays actually that gives them away! also, the Grey Masks do indeed know their ages and their names! Jax and the kids speculated that they could be led by an ex-guild member who was close to the last guildmaster whom Margaretta kicked out and replaced (and this other ex-guild member, Tyrus, tried to poison Margaretta and was there when they kids were young).
I THINK ABOUT CASSIUS BEING THE ONE TO ALWAYS BE KIDNAPPED ALL THE TIME
I totally just gave someone an eyepatch xD
<3 <3 <3 thank you as always!! big appreciation
1) That is totally a safe assumption!! I think it was safe for the reader to assume they were the Grey Masks honestly and I was just reading into it in a "what if I'm wrong" sort of way. But I do think it would help if maybe one of them like Eyepatch Guy was revealed earlier on or something like that. (Or.. maybe he was and I just don't remember.)
2) oHHHHHHH I REMEMBER THIS NOW! Okay, that was a brain fart on my part then. I remember everything you just said hahahahahhaa perfect!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm back...fresh off from finishing my first paper...so excuse anything stupid sounding...my brain is officially resting and refusing to function. Did I just copy paste that? Of course I did.
First Impression: Ahhh...why am I right...of course bad things happen and there's another cliffhanger even from this point of view. Everyone is getting hurt by the looks of it and...at least that lady got what was coming to her. Anyways...I might have actually spotted somewhere that seemed off...I know that's really hard to believe.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...that's too much politeness. I suspect foul play...
That was...umm nice of him I guess. Points for manners.
Ohh...kay...clouds are involved in this now.
Run Barry Run!! Oooops wrong place...Run Cassius Run!!
Now I would love to see your proof for that deduction Mrs. stranger.
Okay...they better be dead by the end of this...also well I hate it when I'm right about these theories.
That line distracts from the action a bit. It sticks out a bit too much there and it just breaks the immersion a little. I think maybe its clear enough by the description...maybe add a little flapping of wings but uhh that seems like the passage should be totally fine without it.
YES
Of course there's another cliffhanger. I should've seen this coming.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Ahh..more cliffhangers...so this one had that one tiny little thing where I felt like a little change up would be for the better...other than that it was perfect as always. Looking forward to the next chapter...
why do you torture us readers so much?As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
HARRY I WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY ABOUT YOUR THEORIES I'M SO CURIOUS
it's me what do you expect xD
thank you!!! for your reviews!! they always make me smile and you're so sweet <3 <3
You're Welcome!!
...if it makes you smile I do my job correctly. And thanks, its been inspiring to read this story. It's amazing. <333
Hmm...maybe one day...I have plans to reveal some of the theories I have in the main stories I follow in a...well you'll see...Ha ha...I like to hope that one day there will be a chapter that is not a cliffhanger.
Hi! I haven't read the previous chapters, so this review is going to pertain to this chapter only and will be fairly short.
It should either be "they're" or "were", not both of those things. I'm sure this was an accident, but I just wanted to alert you to it.For starters, I noticed that you said
Anyway, I like the names that you chose for the characters! They are unique and not names I have heard very often, if ever.
I enjoyed reading this (even if I didn't really understand what was happening, since I didn't read the other chapters yet), and I appreciate you sharing it!
Thanks!
thank you for the review!!