a/n: hey, thanks for checking out Starry Veins! This is the novel I wrote for Round V of LMS, and it's still a first draft! While I don't discourage any feedback, I prefer not to receive feedback on grammar! I'm not polishing this draft up yet, so I'm not as concerned about editing. I am, of course, open to all feedback, but I ask that you keep this in consideration! Thanks <3
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For a blissful half hour, Azhaar had believed himself to be freed of duty and social manoeuvring for a while. He had buried himself nose deep into a book, lulled by the warm afternoon breeze billowing the parted silk curtains and the thick perfume of honey and woodsmoke in the air. The fireplace crackled on the other side of the room, enough to scent the air but not enough for the heat to disturb him.
Then the doors to his room creaked open, and the overpowering waft of jasmine followed it. He secretly hated the smell of jasmine, but he would never admit that.
His mother was in her full regalia, a flowing red dress with peach and gold ornamental embroidery and a silken shawl that billowed behind her. Her hair was curled and pinned back around her crown, glittering in the sunlight peeking in through the drapes and the opened balcony windows. Her face was painted, kohl in the marks of nobility and lining her dark eyes.
Behind her trailed Naqi, his cousin, who was less put together but unmistakeably a part of the royal family. He had kohl around his eyes, but it was smudged, and some of the laces on his chest were unfastened. Much shorter than his aunt, his strides were harried in order to keep up with her graceful, long, and purposeful stride.
Azhaar set his book aside, sucked in a sigh of disappointment, and turned his chair away from the balcony. He pushed himself towards the two of them, wheels silent against the ceramic floor.
"You missed our lunch," said his mother, stopping at the tray of refreshments in the centre of his lounge space. She poured herself tea and then tipped a drizzle of thick, glistening amber honey into the cup.
"I was held up by an issue with the farmers outside of the city," he explained. Naqi began to paw through the refreshments tray for what snack he would have, even though he must have just finished eating. "There's a herd of karkadann that have been passing by the crops and it's making the farmer nervous."
His mother made herself comfortable on one of his cushioned seats that he rarely used, for lack of assistance in moving from his chair to them. Or, rather, she did not look comfortable, but sat stiff as a pillar and sipped her honeyed tea. "Karkadanns are not hostile unless provoked. Are the farmers provoking them?"
"No, but they could trample the crops or scare other livestock away," he explained. "Don't worry about it. What brings you both?" He kept his tone light. There was a tense set to the Queen's shoulders, and it wouldn't do to provoke her.
Naqi put an entire shanklish in his mouth, and some of the cheese stuck to the corner of his mouth. Azhaar couldn't hold back his sigh this time.
"Don't be boorish," his mother scolded. "Sit down, you already had lunch."
Looking only mildly put out, Naqi did as instructed, and took the seat nearest to Azhaar's chair.
"Since your father is..." His mother's nose wrinkled almost imperviously, and she sipped her tea before continuing. "Since the King is currently indisposed of his own affairs, I wanted your opinion of recent proceedings."
He knew what she was referring to and forced himself not to play with the wheel of his chair. "No one has... discovered a perpetrator yet?" he asked, cautiously. They had not ventured into such discussions yet, and he was afraid of what the truth was. He didn't want to find out who had committed the heinous act, because he wasn't sure it wasn't his own family.
His mother eyed him neutrally, wearing indifference like a mask. "No. And no, Summermount is not responsible for what happened in Glacier's Keep. We weren't responsible for the second child's disappearance, despite their suspicions cast upon us, and we're not responsible for their lack of a trueblooded heir." She took a sip of her tea. "It may not be such a difficult answer, were people to accept hard truths."
He didn't want to argue with his mother, not now, but northerners prized themselves with loyalty. It seemed unlikely that Princess Kanta had been the result of an illicit affair. Anyone with half a mind knew there was nothing more important then continuing the trueblood line. Affairs amongst monarchs would be the worst kind of scandal imaginable.
"It would have been a good move, though, wouldn't it have?" Naqi asked, fidgeting on his seat as he reclined luxuriously. "To cripple the north. Remove the truebloods, and any kingdom is nothing."
"If we wanted to strike against Glacier's Keep, everyone would know," his mother responded, lips thinning. "Demolishing the monarchy does nothing for us. What happened to the others that fell? They fell to ruin, and the Wilderlands. Cripple Glacier's Keep, and the tundra is yours, but remove the truebloods and the Wilderlands take over." She set her cup aside, the china clinking as it was set down. She folded her hands over her legs, her dark eyes turning to him. "What are your thoughts?"
The smell of the jasmine perfume his mother cloaked herself in was beginning to ring in his head. The fire was almost out now, it had been a while since the last servant had been by. He didn't bother going for his bell to call another to add more wood, and he didn't care to ask Naqi.
An acrid taste rose in his mouth as he formed words, but he knew better then to speak with complete honesty. "If you want the truebloods of Glacier's Keep to remain, as well as greasing our alliance in such a way that would provide leverage over them, offer them aid in finding the missing heir."
"There's no guarantee the missing girl has trueblood either," his mother pointed out.
"What else are they to do but find her?" He rolled his shoulders.
Naqi was eyeing the refreshment tray again, dark hair tousled by the soft breeze. "Why don't they just have another?"
His mother pursed her lips. "I don't believe that King Manu is in any state to be attempting that." She stood then. "I discuss this with your father. Whether he takes your suggestion or brazenly ignores it, as with most of the advice and common sense he receives, will be up to his own appraisal."
Then she approached him, and some of the harshness of her features softened. "One hour, and then I expect you at your history lessons." She bent forward, and pressed a kiss to his brow that relayed a tenderness she expressed little of.
He reached out to touch her arm, shutting his eyes under the affection. Warmth grew in his chest. Then she was pulling away, the calm neutrality back, and swept out of the room with all the dignity and elegance demanded of a queen.
Naqi leapt to his feet and snatched the last shanklish. "I need a drink," he mumbled around his mouthful.
He frowned at Naqi. "You are fifteen. You shouldn't be drinking."
His cousin shrugged. "You're only sixteen, but I see you nursing liquor at some of the banquets."
Pushing on his right wheel, he turned away from Naqi. "It's only for show. I've only tasted real spirits on few occasions." He rubbed at his temple as Naqi glanced away, wishing he could diffuse the lingering traces of jasmine. He adored his mother specially on the days she dabbed on anything but jasmine.
Naqi strode past him and collapsed onto a chaise lounge near the window. It was there mostly for show, or when his cousin was in the room. He certainly never used it.
Ignoring him, Azhaar pushed his chair to the balcony, and stopped when he could overlook the city.
He had fallen in love with Summermount at a young age, and that love had never wavered. The pale golden sandstone, the teardrops roof tops that rose up from the buildings and glittered under the sun and the moon, coloured in shades of deep blue, rich greens, and a few temples made of solid gold. The colour weaving through the city, silks and banner and canvases lining the buildings and streets. There was nothing that filled his heart more than sitting on his balcony at sunset, and watching the sky douse the city in prisms.
What would have become of him had he never been born Crown Prince? Would he have a more contented life, not worrying about the machinations of court, the bitter marriage of his parents, the responsibilities that already befell him?
His old ruminations joined with new fears.
"What are you brooding about?" Naqi asked.
He turned, and found his cousin sitting the wrong way on the lounge, propped on his elbows and chin in his hands.
"We didn't take the girl. The second princess. It almost destroyed the fragile peace between us and Glacier's Keep we've been so meticulously upholding, but we weren't the ones to take her."
Naqi waved a hand. "So? Everything's fine now. What's your issue?"
He glanced over his shoulder towards the city, his frown deepening. "If you believe everything's fine with Glacier's Keep, you're exposing your own naivety on the situation. But to my original point, Naqi, if we didn't take the girl then who did?"
His cousin looked properly chastised by his tone, but still shrugged. "Who cares? We didn't do it. It shouldn't be our problem then, right?"
Now he wheeled his chair back away from Naqi, turning his frustration back to the city. He could hear music somewhere faraway, and the clanking of armour somewhere closer. The sun was radiant, and the heat soaking deep into his skin. The breeze chased away any discomfort that it might have brought.
"It will be, if Glacier's Keep makes it," he said. The warm air did nothing to loosen his burden, nor ease what it did to his breath. "First, their second child goes missing. Then their heir, the only one they have left, has not one drop of trueblood in her veins? You don't find that suspicious or extremely concerning?" When he was met with silence, he pressed on. "Have you ever thought about this generation of truebloods? How many times in history has each kingdom, save one, only had a single heir? My father had two brothers before the Bloody Wars and King Manu had a sister and a brother. I can continue, if you've ignored your history lessons as well as your diplomatic ones."
Naqi remained silent for several more minutes. There came a shuffling of fabrics behind him, before Naqi finally said, "Maybe it's coincidence. I think the Divine Tundra is warmer than your parents' relationship. I've heard less then gentle things about Queen Juliette. Queen Inga doesn't even have a consort or a concubine anymore, and who knows what's going on over on the Viridian Isles. Besides Glacier's Keep, each kingdom has at least one heir. Maybe the next generation, it will be different."
A stirring, nervous sensation kicked up in his gut, and he raised his hand. "I have an hour of peace to rest, and I didn't intend to spend it debating or educating you."
His cousin grumbled but left at his behest. Once he was left in silence, he buried his head in his hands.
He had replayed the situation over and over again in his mind, but now Naqi's words and begun a new cycle that awoke one of his growing fears, ever since Princess Kanta's disastrous coming-of-age.
Does
each kingdom have an heir?
word count:
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Hey <3
Ooh, we're meeting new characters? c:
You're so good at descriptions
Totally didn't see that coming xD
Also, you mentioned "farmers" before, so I'm wondering why it's only one farmer now?
Omg haha
I love these tiny details, it's providing a lot go insight to setting
Ooh so now we're getting to know some more history! That's exciting
Yup, we've come to see that throughout the story cx
OOH
"I will discuss" I believe :p
I think you did a really nice job characterizing the mother in this chapter!
0.0 That's not good
You've referenced his dislike of jasmine a bit, so I wonder if that comes into play later!
This technically isn't a sentence by itself (but man I love your descriptions - I feel like I say this 100x with each review cx)
Such a pretty image!
Haha, the two don't seem to be the closest xD
I wonder how things are on her side. Must be rough
It's nice to go to the royal families and see situations from their points of view. Ah, the dramatic irony is strong here xD The past has really created a bunch of problems for the heirs/truebloods and royal families, and I'm really interested to see how it will play out. How the kingdoms will reactant adapting to a new identity. This should definitely be interesting
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever it is in your part of the world),
Penultimate review for the day,
First Impression: Nice little detour to show us the state of the kingdoms. Finally someone is asking some questions in the kingdoms.
Interesting little character trait.
Lovely descriptions to introduce the two characters.
I like how Azhaar despite the fact that he is one of the fake princes is portrayed as someone who cares for common people. Makes him an instantly likable character.
Now this is some really interesting stuff. As if the truebloods and the wilderlands have some kind of fight. Suddenly that random reference to Mishal and a root doesn't seem so random.
That's nice to see. The queen seems to have at least a little bit of genuine affection.
That's a great decryption of the city.
This whole thing I assume is a result of that spell by the Jax fellow. Also this seems like Naqi has been intentionally made a dum character so that some exposition can be spilled. This isn't bad or anything but it is rather obvious.
Well that's an interesting line to end things on.
And that's it.
Overall: Nice segment portraying the other side of the coin so to speak.
As always take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH INTERESTING
You know, I totally thought of this before but figured it was just coincidence. But now Azhaar is wondering if it's coincidence that each kingdom only had one heir. SO NOW I'M CONCERNED. LIKE WHY does each kingdom only have one heir? And why is Glacier's Keep the exception??
I want to say Summermount is... hm. Azhaar is 15, so does that mean it's not Mishal's but possibly... Rowan's family? I should've taken notes trying to keep track of the kingdoms and ages and things. Or maybe it's Mishal's, and they just hadn't celebrated the prince's birthday yet 'cause Mishal is 16 now. My brain wants to say Summermount was Mishal's original kingdom, but I CANNOT REMEMBER IF WE KNOW THIS.
Poor Glacier's Keep, though. They had an abduction AND their princess turns out to not have trueblood. So now it all just makes them look bad when in reality, all these kingdoms are in trouble. They just don't know yet 'cause their heirs haven't had to do that blood ritual yet. T_T
I love these characters and this family. You described the atmosphere so beautifully, I wanted to start watching Aladdin. Naqi sounds like an annoyance, but he was useful in getting information out of Azhaar for the reader's sake. I wonder why he follows the queen here or if he does it all the time. (Probably doesn't ultimately matter, but.) And the queen seemed to want to visit Azhaar to simply pick his brain for ideas that she can throw at the king later.
It really helps visualize the dynamic of their relationship in this family. Azhaar seems to be a very intelligent kid if the queen is actually asking advice or opinions from him. He's incredibly bright, too, if he's able to draw these theories about Glacier Keep's heirs AND HE'S EVEN SPECULATING OVER OTHER KINGDOMS' HEIRS. hnnnnnnng omg I'm Team Azhaar. He's totally asking all the right questions. And this segment has been super helpful in moving the plot along to the point where the reader feels like we're on the same page now with most of the cast. We had the prologue in the back of our mind this whole time, but now the characters are starting to ask the questions we've been wondering all along IT IS SO *EXCITING*.
And GUH your setting/description is just beautiful and I am just in love with it all. Everything about it jsut felt royal and magnificent and simply spoke without words the personality of each characteR I JUST LOVED IT ALL. <3 <3 <3
...oops
SORRY I SHOULD ELABORATE MORE I just saw that part and apparently can't remember my own character's birthday rip me Azhaar IS supposed to be sixteen
: )
I'm so glad you liked this chapter!! I pulled it out from absolutely nowhere and I was worried it wouldn't tie in well with the rest of the story!
thank you so much for your reviews, as always <333
LOL ALL GOOD. Thank you for the clarification, though!! I figure it's challenging juggling all of the ages and things going on at once!
YES I DID A LOT. I really enjoy these interludes with the other kingdoms and how they're handling the ever-growing dilemma of the truebloods' whereabouts. It also gives such a unique perspective on the situation, like these are also beautiful characters with families and loved ones AND ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE BEING AFFECTED BY WHATEVER MASTER PLAN IS GOING ON HNNNNNNNNNNG
I just love it so much. <3
Hi, MadagascarMaiden popping in for a review!
I just want to say that i love this story so far, it's such a page turner! I like how sometimes (like in this chapter) you give your readers a peek at what's happening in the kingdoms. And, I wonder if, when the time comes, Azhaar will go through the trueblood ceremony and be tested false?! that would devastate summermount and make Azhaar wonder even more curious and suspicious of all these coincidences.
well these are just my thoughts on your 20th chapter! (congrats) And you just need to keep your nose to the grindstone.