Young Writers Society

Hi, this is ZeldaIsShiek, here to review another amazing piece of literacy and beat the Werewolves once and for all! For the Witches shall win in the end! But before that happens, I am going to help you improve your writing as a whole and improve you as a Young Writer in the process. Of this I am certain. I like all literacy, regardless of what genre or subject it is falls under. When I review your work, this will become apparent to you. Are you ready? Let's begin the review!

Wow... Just, wow... This poem has a very deep meaning that I can not fully grasp, but I can at least try to! I really liked the beginning. It felt velt clean-cut, as if the poet's secrets had been stripped away from them and their bare thoughts were revealed. However, as the poem continued, I realized that this was not the case. The truth was that this character had a past and was forced every day to confront that past with the pain they hide inside of themselves. They end the poem by stating that there is no more questioning the pain they hide inside of themselves from being sexually molested for six years and then dealing with sexual molesters... Wow... That's REALLY cruel! Who would do that to someone? Great work, as usual, and continue to write!

-ZeldaIsShiek

Wow this was deep and very very good. I could also feel it on a personal level. I liked the flow I think and how the message is always clear and simple. I could understand and feel what you wanted me to feel. To be honest there's nothing I'd change about this. I think it's good exactly how it is and if you make any changes that should be completely up to you. Anyways to cut this short. Good job, good luck, and I hope to see more from you.

Hello Rascalover! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!

Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.

This review courtesy of

Hey there, Rascalover! This was difficult to read through multiple times, which emotionally is a good thing so let's talk about that!

I have to say first that the formatting you presented tuuuuuurned my eyes off so quickly. The old guard of centered and starred poetry irks me all the days of my life, and I think a lot of your flow could improve if you left-aligned and considered the white space given pacing and breath control. You have a sub-marketable flow, so give it some love and attention to bring out its smoothness. I have confidence in this, and I'm even willing to work with you about flow.

The message and meat of the piece is tough to chew for me because it hits hard; however, this does not mean there is a flaw. You've done subtlety service in good places and brought to a head the tension where it needed to be: right where you reveal the mangled turnpike that used to be your life. That is the checkpoint and pace-keeper for the remainder of the piece. Everything from this point on, as I read, dealt from the ten years of molestation (for which I had to mark this as 18+, just so you know.) It's a strong checkpoint. And it sets up the final stanzas with aplomb, as well.

My suggestion for the remainder is to give more characterization to the inmates. They're where your heart lies, and it's clear; they deserve more depth in the piece given what little space they have. I'm unsure about the ending line unless you plan to continue this in another piece? I believe a more finite ending would be somewhere along the borders of healing and self-revelation of some sort. Regardless, all of these notes--I hope they help.

All my best,
Ty