It's start out slow.
A tickling of the throat and feet,
Turning into words and steps.
Then, little by little,
Those grow into
Screams and Runs.
Getting faster,
There becomes friends and grades,
Turning into your whole world.
Then, little by little,
Those grow into
Boyfriends and opportunities.
Still picking up speed,
There becomes college acceptance letters,
Turing into life time decisions.
Your heart and mind
Never allow you to slow down,
But then everything stops.
Little by little,
You look at your husband,
Your kids and the land you own,
Wondering how time
Never slowed
Down.
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Canary word: Present
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139,865 Literary Works • 672,779 Reviews
I absolutely love the way you described the time moving through. You did an amazing job at naming the feelings we actually worry about. It is a very good poem with great meaning. I can relate to this. It sparks a lot of thought. Great Job.
Thanks
Hello there!
I really love your short poetry but I think it needs some work. Other reviewers had already told you about them, but I will still mention what I think can be corrected.
About the capitalization, I will not correct it because it is your own choice to put it or not, but for me, it needs to be corrected. If you want full edit, tell me. But for not I will only show you 'options'.
It has started/started out slow.
A tickling of the throat and feet,
Turning into words and steps.
---
Wondering how time,
Never slowed
Down.
I hope you keep on writing. Good job.
Thanks!
Hi Rascalover! This was a great poem. I like the flow of it, it kept me reading. It was wonderfully written! I love your time frames and the way you describe each one. It made me think of my life to now and I can relate. I think anyone can. You did a magnificent job describing life as it is. I don't see anything wrong with it and that is great! Keep on writing and I hope to read more of your work in the future! Great poem!
AshleyDashley
Thanks
Welcome!
Hey! I'm here to review your poem! I hope my review is helpful!
"It's start out slow."
I think this is the correction:
It started out slow.
"Those grow into
Screams and Runs."
I think you should clarify what 'those' are
Those words grow into
Screams and Runs.
I really liked this poem! It really made me think about like, sort of like that song called 7 Years. I love things like these that are sort of deep. I really like your style and the way you formatted the poem. I don't have really much to say about the meaning of your poem because I don't think anything is wrong with it. I'm looking forward to more work by you.
Have a wonderful day,
Alice ♥
Thanks I didn't catch that first typo!
Awww~ I find this poem so chill and so heartwarming. I can feel that "old lady/man" kind of feel—it's like she/he is remembering the time when he/she was young. And I can feel myself getting old hahaha nooo~ not yet! It is too soon hahaha.
I don't see any problem except the font or the paragraphs should be all on the left side. It would be well organise for me.
My favourite part:
Wondering how time
Never slowed
Down.
Yes, I notice time is getting faster. You wouldn't even realize it. Pretty much appreciate your work. So keep writing~
Thanks!!!