Hate
It fills my insides,
Turning me black.
Stone cold,
My heart has ceased to pump.
Like a poison,
It bleeds through my veins.
My breath is ice,
Chilling my words.
I’ve held it in too long,
Can’t let go.
Once I do,
I will thaw.
Melting at their feet,
That’s what they want.
I won’t let them have it;
I’ll keep hanging on,
Until the blackness
Covers me whole.
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139,865 Literary Works • 672,779 Reviews
Thank you.
Hi,
I like the imagery that you used in this stanzas:
Also I don't really like the last three stanzas of the poem, I think they ruin the flow of the poem.
Overall I think is a good poem but if you were to use more description the poem would've been much better.
Thank you
This is a really beautiful poem, even though it's about an ugly topic.
and don't quite seem to fit with the rest of the poem. I think it's because every other verse has some imagery about ice or blackness, and these ones are just statements.I love the images you use. The thing I would suggest is that these verses:
Also: This verse is a bit short and it interrupted the flow for me when I read it.
That's all, I loved this!
-pigeon