I've never felt power like I have when I'm with you.
A single kiss causes your mouth to quiver.
A gentle touch along the inside of your torso to your waist causes you to tremor.
I've never wanted anything more than I've wanted you.
And, that scares me.
Natural instinct tells me to shut you out.
You only want one thing, and let's be honest
This fat chick is the least of your fantasies.
My mind constantly wanders about your intentions.
You incessantly tell me to put my own mind at ease.
But, life long traumas have caused my brain to permanently turn away.
I crave the day when I believe your sweet nothings and assuring looks.
For now, I'll keep my distance.
No matter how much my body aches for you.
Even when I can't control myself and reach my hand over to caress your inner thigh.
I'll pull away at the end of every night, knowing I am second best.
I thought I was the picture perfect advertisement for anxiety, over analyzing, and worry.
But, these new found insecurities have my mind running laps.
I haven't slept in days and I'm ready to collapse on the snap of a finger.
Even though, I'm just looking for the next opportunity to get you alone.
The hurt in my past causes me to await certain fates.
So, when you don't take what's yours,
When you don't force yourself upon me and demand my physicality,
I fear you don't want me the same way I need you.
I'll wait in the promise of your gentle soul.
The kindness swimming in your hazel eyes and soft lips cause me to stay put,
Cemented in place, waiting for your next move.
Curiosity and my own selfish pursuit has landed me in love.
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139,534 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
this is my favorite poem because I was just look for inspiration to write again and thank you before I could even finish the poem I fell in love with the words wow you really talented. I am about to read more of your work like your work has like this thing that like once start reading one of your work you want to rad more wow really amazing work. Keep on writing because this is one of the best poems I have ever seen in my life
this is my favorite poem because I was just look for inspiration to write again and thank you before I could even finish the poem I fell in love with the words wow you really talented. I am about to read more of your work like your work has like this thing that like once start reading one of your work you want to rad more wow really amazing work. Keep on writing because this is one of the best poems I have ever seen in my life
Hello again Rascalover, I just left a review for another of your works and really enjoyed it, so when I saw your name; I was immediately interested.
Once again; I love your writing. Your phrases. Your way of describing things. It's completely honest, open, and real. You don't always find that in writing.
I know where you're coming from here with this work. I often wonder why my girlfriend is with me. I love her so very, very much. And it would break me if she left, so I give her every reason to stay; but I don't feel like it's enough. She already has her own stuff going on, why does she put up with my excessive stress, my constant anxiety, my habit of somehow making everything worse? I don't know. But I never take it for granted that she does.
I like the layout of your poem. The center-aligned format has always been speaking to me. There are a few things that do stand out to me though.
"You only want one thing, and let's be honest
This fat chick is the least of your fantasies."
I would put a semicolon after 'honest,' and make 'that' lowercase.
"But, life long traumas have caused my brain to permanently turn away."
I would remove the comma after 'but.' I get what you're trying to do there, I just feel that it doesn't quite fit.
"Even though, I'm just looking for the next opportunity to get you alone."
Same with the comma after "though," it makes it read far too jerky.
Other than those small things, everything here is really good!
Great job, keep on writing
Autopilot
Awesome thank you!
Heyo!! Its me- B.
I am going to try to review this, but it might be hard, because this is a nice poem.
First off: I want to just say that you could have just added a label on it, for what age group that you think that it would fit into. Because I normally dont read peoms without a label...but I liked the title so I tried it.
The Formatting:
The formatting was really cool, because it was centered, and that made it somewhat easier to read.
"A single kiss causes your mouth to quiver.
A gentle touch along the inside of your torso to your waist causes you to tremor.
I've never wanted anything more than I've wanted you.
And, that scares me.
Natural instinct tells me to shut you out.
You only want one thing, and let's be honest
This fat chick is the least of your fantasies."
This was a kinda sad part, because the "fat chick" part could have been changed, but it all depends on the mood that you want.
Your punctuation:
There were a few too many commas in the wrong place, and I am sure you could find them, because I am low on time right now.
OVERALL:
I loved this poem, it showed the feelings that you have, and might never get.
Keep writing,
~B.
Thank you