I fear an absence of color

hey there this shakthi
This my review on your poetry..
When red I felt.. That
Your poem is very powerful and emotional. I was immediately drawn to how you express absence and numbness, especially in lines like “I fear an absence of color, Eyes and ears stuffed with cotton”. It creates a strong feeling of isolation and quiet despair, and I could almost feel the world becoming muted along with the speaker.

The imagery of color, especially in “The dramatic reds and burnt oranges, My own sunset, lost to the night”, is beautiful. It’s vivid but also sad, showing something bright and personal slipping away. The way you describe an embrace turning cold and fingers grasping but never quite reaching makes the emotion very relatable — it’s subtle but deeply felt.

I also liked the cinematic quality of the later lines, like “Dark hues and gloomy grays, Paint this old Hollywood picture. Replaying until it's all I remember”. It makes the poem feel like a memory being watched over and over, haunting and persistent. This repetition mirrors the way loss or sadness can linger in our minds.

Overall, your poem combines strong visual imagery with emotional depth. The way you balance colors, sensory details, and memories creates a mood that is both nostalgic and sorrowful. It’s a piece that stays with the reader and invites reflection.

One thing that could make it even stronger is a hint of resolution or hope at the end — even a small glimmer of light, color, or connection could give the poem a sense of movement or closure, balancing the heaviness of loss and making the emotional journey feel complete.

Hi there! Happy Review Day!

I have to say the title of the poem/the first line really drew me in. It's such a vulnerable line - where the speaker is confessing their fear to something that I do believe is beyond the literal absence of colour To piggy-back off Snoink (no pun intended!), I agree that some of the imagery you have here is really powerful and packs a punch, specifically around the contrasting warm colours of the sunset versus distance and cold.

However, one thing that I struggled with the most in your poem is that I felt the imagery was a bit inconsistent. In poetry, by virtue of its built-in word economy, we often rely a lot on strong imagery to convey the poem's meaning. Sometimes, when we have so many good ideas, we as poets get carried away and try to include everything on our minds! I think Snoink has already pointed out specific examples of confusing and/or inconsistent imagery and metaphors in your poem, so I don't want to repeat them because I totally agree with her. To go one step beyond, I would encourage you to stick to this idea of "fearing an absence of colour" and explore that further. The sunset image is a good start!

Let me know if you have any questions - I think you have some good foundations already and I would love to see how you take this further

All the best,
Lavvie

Hi Lunar Girl!

Hmmmm... I really like the idea of this poem, especially your metaphor where you talk about how the sunset is lost to the night. That image is especially potent, because you can visualize it instantly because it fits so well and it goes back to the first line about the absence of color in a really powerful way.

One thing I would suggest is to just expand on this metaphor more. Some of your lines don't really make sense (putting cotton in... your eyes?). Other lines evoke weird metaphors that don't seem relevant to your fear of colors disappearing (why are ears being stuffed with cotton? what are fingers grasping?). Anyway, it might be better to either trim these lines or connect them to the visual theme of the poem. As someone with slight synthesia, I swear certain sounds have colors, so maybe you can sort of play with this. Maybe the fingers are grasping for colors? Or you can try to connect them into other ways.

Your last stanza is particularly interesting because there was a time in old Hollywood where it was exclusively black and white, and then Technicolor came on. As someone who loves classic movies, I kind of wish you can expand on this idea some more... it would be EPIC.

Anyway, really cool poem! Some nice imagery.

Let me know if you have any questions!