You Should Never Wish Away a Day

Hi!
This is another beautiful poem!
Stanza One is an effective opening as it shows an aspect of realatibility, as none of us should ever wish a day in our life away - even though we may want too now due to the pandemic and we should savour each moment that we have with our loved ones. Stanza Two and Three I thought was really good as it shows the impact that death can have upon love and relationships as one day it will eventually seperate people. Stanza Four though was my favourite as it shows how fragile that life can be, and how much grief can impact upon someone, as they are forced to seperate from their loved one.
The imagery made me think of a fantasy world, which I loved (fantasy is my second favourite genre to write after contemporary). Well done!

Hello LunarGirl,
What a lovely poem! I loved the imagery in this. I'm just going to go down stanza by stanza.

You should never wish away a day,

because you never know how fleeting they may be.

A year and day could be as long as you stay,

on this Earthly planet that once drove me insane.

But the memories will last,

even when I'm buried in your past.

And the sun can set,

and shine gold upon my hill.

Where I lay in a graveyard,

in a coffin 6ft down.

Awaiting the day to be joined hand in hand,

and see your lovely face once again.

We can live forever, and reign immortal,

hand in hand, together until the end of the world,

because in life or in death, I will always love you,

and I will never wish away a day that I could spend with you.

Hello! Back again for another review. I actually liked this poem more than "Drowning", I don't know why.

I found the descriptive language and whimsical, dream-like lines complimentary to the sad yet romantic longing of the narrator. The imagery isn't over the top, nor are the lines running off on a tangent. You seem to have a talent for not over complicating the poem, which keeps them clean, concise, and allows the true message to shine. Claps and standing ovation for you!

The rhyme scheme is inconsistent again like "Drowning", which also irks me quite a bit, but that might be just my preference. The line "on this Earthly planet..." doesn't seem to flow as well as the other lines. My suggestion is replace planet with plane, to add to the feel of the poem. I actually really liked the last stanza the best, because of the ambiguous and open ended format that allows more thinking from the reader's perspective. For some reason, in my opinion, the vagueness works. I don't know how you pulled it off, but it does.

You maybe could add some more imagery and poetic language to create a more intricate landscape to the theme, if you so choose. Just remember to not over do it.

Nice job! I really love this poem.

Hey! Rida for a review!

First impression: aww, such a cute poem!

Glows
This poem was small, but told us about a topic that was big. Your poems are really good! This is a romantic and sweet poem. It’s a bit like how Juliet would be feeling if Romeo hadn’t died, I guess. So, it’s a sweet poem! The imagery, I guess, is what’s adding to the beauty.

Grows

I didn’t find a lot of mistakes over here except for the rhyming scheme which was used in a few stanzas but then abandoned.

The other thing is.....

“We can live forever, and reign immortal,
Hand in hand, together until the end of the world,”

Isn’t one of them supposed to be dead? So the two lines ARE a bit..... strange.

The last is, you could add more imagery, metaphor and similes to add beauty to the poem. Other than that, no mistake!

Lastly:
This poem was really, really good. It could be improved, yes, but it’s far better than my poems. :p you’re a really talented poet!
~keep writing! Keep reviewing!
-Rida