The past is to long to forget,
all the memories that happened
between me and you.
All the times we laughed, cried,
and screamed for no reason.
...
Our past holds solace,
but it also holds sorrows.
...
Like the time your car crashed,
and I thought you would die
bleeding out.
...
Or the time we ate ice cream
in winter, and ended up freezing.
...
All the days we spent together,
they will last forever.
Forever in my heart.
I will remember them through
and through, so all I can think
about is you.
...
Through the good times,
and bad, you were one
constant in my life.
The one who steaded my hand.
...
In this world of madness,
you were my light.
The light to hold back
evil, when I was frightened
at night.
...
So here in my heart you will rest,
through and through,
because I love you.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
Very powerful and heart warming poem you wrote. It says about remembering memories.
Yeah we all have memories we can never forget those small things like
"Or the time we ate Ice cream
and end up freezing"
these small memories when they come back they always bring a slight smile on our face.
and these examples conveyed your felling very well.
There is a small mistake here
"The past is to long to forget
all the memories that happened
between me and you"
It should have been " The past is too long to forget"
You wouldn't have noticed it. It happens sometime with me too.
And in this stanza
"The past is to long to forget
all the memories that happened
between me and you.
All the times we laughed, cried
and screamed for no reason"
These lines convey your ideas and feeling very well but it doesn't go with each other. Like when you speak a line the other line doesn't come naturally it seems forced.
But overall all your theme is very nice. Fell free to neglect my opinion.
Wow, this was a really beautiful and really powerful poem. I love the theme of remembering people, of remembering our experiences with them, no matter what, even if it hurts.
I loved your examples of memories, like the ice cream in winter (which I can relate to; the brain freeze is worth it) and the scarier one of the car crash. They really helped make the ideas of the poem become more concrete and make the relationship between the narrator and the other character more visible to me.
My favorite stanza was probably the second to last, I adore the idea of someone being your light in a terrifying world.
I also liked your flow throughout and how it pulled me from line to line.
Overall, great job, I really enjoyed this poem ^-^
Thanks for the review!
Hewwo! Review time!!!!!
The first line should be "The past is too long to forget" with two "o"s at the end of to.
This is my personal favorite line. It says that yes, our past does hold comfort and consolation, but it also holds the sadness and the sorrows.
Oh, also another thing: throughout the poem you put commas in some places and didn't put commas in others. This is a minor problem, but it shouldn't be too big of an issue.
The third line should end with a comma. "Forever in my heart, I will remember them through and through, so all I ca think about is you."
That should be "Steadied" in the final line.
Overall, this was a really good poem, but a main issue that I see is that it ends anticlimatically. Ending a poem with a phrase that has not been used before and does not rhyme and does not have an overall power to it is anticlimatic, so I suggest it to be something more like this:
So, that's my suggestion.
Anyways, hope you were satisfied with this review!
-y0sH!
Thanks for the review!