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The Girl and the Bird

by LUNARGIRL


She’s run out of words that her mouth will allow her to say to you,

even though there all perched on the tip of her tongue, stuck,

like a bird chained to a branch on a tree.

...

Knowing that it could take flight,

and feel the breeze ruffle its feathers once more,

if not for the chain wrapped around it's fragile leg,

like a snake squeezing tight.

...

For every time it tries to fly,

the bird is dragged back to the tree,

and the chain grows tighter,

as its reality sinks in a little bit more,

just like how the lies get a easier for the girl.

...

To the point where the bird forgets that the branch is there at all,

because it has forgotten how to fly, what freedom tastes like.

Just like how the girl has forgotten what the truth feels like, tastes like,

for all her sweet words are now coated in lies.

...

She no longer feels the weight of the words stuck in her mouth,

just like how the bird cannot feel its chain anymore.

For she no longer longs to tell the truth,

and break free of these self-made chains that have bound her now for so long.

...

Just like how the bird no longer hungers for freedom and the wild,

because it has been a captive to the tree branch for so long

that it feels like it's domestication is natural, but it's not.

...

For if the bird is ever cut free,

would it go on living its life as if it's still tethered to the tree?

Or would it take flight and set itself free, 

and remind itself what freedom tastes like?

...

Would the girl continue to let sugar-coated lies

spill from her now sour mouth?

Or be able to find the truth in herself,

if there is even any left.


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359 Reviews


Points: 37050
Reviews: 359

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Tue Aug 03, 2021 2:32 pm
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

Oooh, this was a very compelling poem!!

The flow was incredible. I loved the story you wove of both the girl and the bird and how consistently you compared and contrasted to really build up the metaphor. I love how it started as the chain was almost being forged, and then you chronicled how the girl got used to lying and the bird grew used to the chain around its leg and didn't think twice about not having freedom. I feel like the bird metaphor can be applied to several things, like accepting an evil until it comes naturally. It was a really beautifully executed poem. Nice work!

On a smaller scale, I think the flow within your lines was also really great. It had a really nice rhythm despite not rhyming, and the line breaks felt very natural. I especially liked the fourth stanza, where you talk about how both parties have forgotten what freedom and truth tastes like. That sensory appeal is really lovely with the rest of the poem, and the repetition of forgotten works well to emphasize just what they both have lost.

Specifics

even though there all perched on the tip of her tongue, stuck,


Tiny thing: "there" should be "they're," I think.

if not for the chain wrapped around it's fragile leg..


Another small thing: the possessive form of "it" is "its," not "it's."

For if the bird is ever cut free,

would it go on living its life as if it's still tethered to the tree?


I really loved these two lines. I think they presented a very philosophical and poetic question.

Would the girl continue to let sugar-coated lies

spill from her now sour mouth?

Or be able to find the truth in herself,

if there is even any left.


I adored the juxtaposition and contrast in the last stanza with the "sugar coated lies" and "sour mouth." One thing, though: since the last line is adding another option to the question that came before it, I'm pretty sure it would sound better with a question mark at the end.

Overall: really nice work! I enjoyed the flow of your poem a lot, and the perpetuated metaphor was so thought-provoking and visual. It was really nicely executed. Hope to see more of your work soon! Until next time!




LUNARGIRL says...


Thanks for the review!



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Points: 74
Reviews: 7

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Sat Jul 31, 2021 10:05 pm
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bnnina wrote a review...



Hi!
I must say this was not at all what I was expecting when I clicked on the title, but I’m pleasantly surprised.
This is a very interesting poem, while likening lying to a bird chained to a tree (a very interesting metaphor that allows you to truly explore this concept) you're also asking a question - can we break free from lying or is it that once we fall into this deep pit of dishonesty that we mightn’t be able to be who we were again?
I like how the bird is symbolizing this person. It can be chained down (like many held captive these days) or it can be set free to soar through the skies. The truth gives us freedom. In so many ways truth can set us free in our lives.
You create powerful emotions with your words.

"Knowing that it could take flight,

and feel the breeze ruffle its feathers once more,

if not for the chain wrapped around it's fragile leg,

like a snake squeezing tight."

Was my favorite part because I feel like it can be very relatable to many different situations in life.

Overall, I think this was a really well written poem that has a lot of depth to it.

Well done!




LUNARGIRL says...


Thanks for the review! I honestly wasn%u2019t sure what this poem was going to turn out like when I started writing it.




If you receive a bribe, you must report it in your income.
— John Oliver