Young Writers Society

Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

Oooh, this was a very compelling poem!!

The flow was incredible. I loved the story you wove of both the girl and the bird and how consistently you compared and contrasted to really build up the metaphor. I love how it started as the chain was almost being forged, and then you chronicled how the girl got used to lying and the bird grew used to the chain around its leg and didn't think twice about not having freedom. I feel like the bird metaphor can be applied to several things, like accepting an evil until it comes naturally. It was a really beautifully executed poem. Nice work!

On a smaller scale, I think the flow within your lines was also really great. It had a really nice rhythm despite not rhyming, and the line breaks felt very natural. I especially liked the fourth stanza, where you talk about how both parties have forgotten what freedom and truth tastes like. That sensory appeal is really lovely with the rest of the poem, and the repetition of forgotten works well to emphasize just what they both have lost.

Specifics

even though there all perched on the tip of her tongue, stuck,

if not for the chain wrapped around it's fragile leg..

For if the bird is ever cut free,

would it go on living its life as if it's still tethered to the tree?

Would the girl continue to let sugar-coated lies

spill from her now sour mouth?

Or be able to find the truth in herself,

if there is even any left.

Hi!
I must say this was not at all what I was expecting when I clicked on the title, but I’m pleasantly surprised.
This is a very interesting poem, while likening lying to a bird chained to a tree (a very interesting metaphor that allows you to truly explore this concept) you're also asking a question - can we break free from lying or is it that once we fall into this deep pit of dishonesty that we mightn’t be able to be who we were again?
I like how the bird is symbolizing this person. It can be chained down (like many held captive these days) or it can be set free to soar through the skies. The truth gives us freedom. In so many ways truth can set us free in our lives.
You create powerful emotions with your words.

"Knowing that it could take flight,

and feel the breeze ruffle its feathers once more,

if not for the chain wrapped around it's fragile leg,

like a snake squeezing tight."

Was my favorite part because I feel like it can be very relatable to many different situations in life.

Overall, I think this was a really well written poem that has a lot of depth to it.

Well done!