Hi! I really enjoyed reading this. I sometimes struggle with separating stanzas to make my writing flow more and I honestly feel like I can learn from this because your formatting is really good. One of my favorite lines is "Through a street filled with beating hearts". It sounds so sinister while it could just describe any busy street. It makes you want to think it's describing some sad dystopian world, but you are reminded that it could be our world from this person's perspective. I notice that some of your lines rhyme but just a few here and there. It sounds good without being out of place, but I am curious if you were placing those rhymed lines purposefully in those sections or that's just how it turned out. Great either way. Very cool vibes, nice work!
Points: 53
Reviews: 5
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