Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
Disappear, and be gone,
Hide out, and run.
Obliterate to the sun,
and say goodbye.
...
You are worthless,
tarnished treasure,
to be cast back and forgotten.
You are to be burnt alive
by the horrors you'll face.
...
You'll be cracked and shattered,
till you break like glass.
You are fragmented,
so you won't last.
Be gone, because even you
won't survive even the
deepest pits of hell.
...
Disappear into the night,
and worm away in terror and fright.
Escape before it's too late.
Free yourself of this place.
...
Free yourself,
before you lose yourself,
to the pain of the past.
...
From the memories,
that won't fade fast enough,
and disappear like you.
You who killed my dreams,
and sent them to hell.
Where they burn and tarnish
to pieces of sand.
...
Lurke back to hades, you demon.
Go escape, and deliver you plans.
You are a traitor, go take your stand.
My hate will kill you before you can.
...
I will shatter you, until your like me.
Until your nothing.
It's payback time,
and there's no escape.
For me, or for you.
Lets see who will last.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
Another heartfelt and powerful poem. Its a deep poem and you might be very aggressive at the time you wrote it . I really like the second paragraph
"You are worthless
tarnished treasure
to be cast back and forgotten
You are to be burnt alive
by the horrors you will face"
We all in our live feels like that sometimes when everyone seems to be best except you.
I can't find any grammatical mistakes so you did a great job.
Thanks for the review!
Wow, this is amazing. I really loved the aggressive nature of this poem and it did an amazing job of conveying anger and hatred and the immense desire for vengeance. And it's not just a challenge; it's a warning.
The flow of this poem is also very aggressive and it definitely fits the mood which is great.
Just a couple typos I think: In the second to last stanza, I think "deliver you plans" was supposed to "deliver your plans." Also, there are a couple times you use "your" instead of "you're." Aside from those, I think you did a great job!
Overall, I really liked it and the powerful emotions it conveys. ^-^
Thanks for the review!