Living in harmony,
is that even a thing,
because people clash,
so it's hard to win.
It’s so hard so why even try,
it would be so much easier just to die.
Disappear and hide,
leave the world behind,
leave it crumbling,
so that you might be able to fly.
Harmony is the hardest thing to do,
and when it happens, would it last?
would it shatter to pieces and then collapse?
Harmony, what even is harmony,
is it even possible, is it even real?
Would I realize what harmony is if it happened,
or is it just a myth, a lie, a misunderstanding?
What is harmony?
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140,763 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
Hello! Plume here, with a review!
Wow. As the kids these days say, what a mood. I really love your poem, and felt I could relate to the sentiments a lot. It deals with the very interesting concept of harmony, and I think you've encapsulated many feelings regarding it. I like how you address the fact that maybe harmony doesn't exist, because people are just too different. I love the questioning nature of the poem, and how you're not really concluding anything. It shows how to the narrator is only discovering more questions rather than answers along the way, which sometimes happens in life.
I think this is especially timely, given all the recent events that have happened in the world. I feel like this planet and our society is more divided than ever, and your poem encapsulates the precariousness and uncertainty of harmony, if it exists at all. Nicely done!
There's just one thing I would recommend and it is to maybe include a bit more imagery/other poetic elements to it. Right now, it kinda sounds like a paragraph that's spread out through line breaks and such. It's a minor nitpick though, and it's still a lovely poem.
Other than that, great job! I think you've really told the story of harmony in terms of society and the narrator's views on it through your poem. Nice job!
Thanks for the review, i'll keep what you said in mind!
HELLO THERE LUNAR GIRL A BELATED WELCOME TO YWS FOR YOU
first i want to thank you for showing your work to us, i enjoyed reading it through.
what i need to start by mentioning is that, as a work of poetry, you have no walls with which to bound yourself by. however, if you choose to use grammar and punctuation throughout the poem, it's a bit jarring when it isn't used correctly.
in the second line,
we are being asked a question, however you don't present it as one. now we can write this off as a simple mistake if it weren't for the fact that this line, in essence, ties the entire theme of the poem together. this question is meant to make us ponder about everything going forward, yet it is breezed over so nonchalantly and that sort of takes away some of the impact it would've otherwise had on us.
now with that aside, i do enjoy the existential nature of the poem. as someone who has at least three existential crisis' a week, i do love something else to freak out about. you capture the idea of wondering how long we can be happy before it goes away in a short span of time, which is impressive. this fear and dread that you seem to try to impose on the reader doesn't go unnoticed.
as such, i'm mostly glad you ended the poem with questions. you don't pretend to have a solution or have some hopeful message, and as such this reads as someone who is trying to figure things out for themselves. almost as if it is an introspective piece, you have managed to make it relatable to people like me. i love reading about wordly ponderings and what-ifs and general questioning of society. for that, i thank you for sharing with us.
other than that, i enjoyed reading your piece and i hope to see more from you in the future!
Thanks for the review!
Hey! First off, I really like how you started with
Yet I don't know if the second line should be a question also or not.
I like how the poem rhymes because rhyming poems always gives me a breezy feeling of the emotion of the poem. The last part of the poem really made me frown, the feeling of wonder and curiosity that sits on my mind is still there yet its dormant. Personally, this certain line really gave me that wondering feeling if I should do what I felt like doing yet still is unable to make a choice.
At the end of the poem, I love how you made it a series of questions, to give the readers something to think about. It's really great, I loved your poem, I would love to hear more works from you and possibly review them too!! :3
Much love!! xoxo~~! <3
Thanks for the review!
Welcome~!! <33
Very nice poem. I like the sad tone of it and how you end it with questions, so the reader himself can think about the subject.
The first sentence can be interpreted in different ways. Why are people fighting? Because to gain own harmony or to destroy harmony of the others?
The second sentence sounds a bit edgy, but that´s just my opinion. All in all an interesting poem!
Thanks for the review!
Put in your description what you wanted to do with this poem or comment on my wall so I can rereview this.
Thanks for the review!
You're welcome.