You can't be replaced, but I can be erased.
If you were a heart of glass, I'd drop you on the floor.
You would fall to pieces, and I wouldn't let you restore.
If you were a piece of sugar, I would have you drowned.
You would corrode, and I wouldn't be your rebound.
If you were an orange, I would squeeze you in my hand.
You would dry out, and I wouldn't be your one-night-stand.
If you were a tear in my eye, I would let you fall in to the sea.
You would be lost, and I wouldn't let you find me.
If you were a lump of clay, I would like to change you.
You would be better, but I wouldn't create someone new.
Because;
Even though you smash me to pieces, make me corrode.
Even though you're pieces of glass in a puzzle I can't decode.
Even though I'm yours for a night, then easily erased.
You mean to much to me, you cant be replaced.
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140,778 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
I agree with what Dani's put here, find a way to emphasize those words and make them the key part in the sentence. I'm more a fan of the use of italics in such a situation because I believe capitilization should only be used for proper nouns and the start of sentences.
Either way, this was a good poem but I think you need to find a title that does it justice.
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WOW, This is really good and I like the way you write. You're very deep and choose nice flowing words. Good job
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O_o this was soo good im so shocked someone can come up with this xD
your so talented at writin poetry so don't stop (:
I can actually feel the how he/she feels like with this one person she could be what ever this person wanted and it would never be enough for them. You just have to be your own person and realize that you cant change yourself for anybody. Good job
I also liked it! It's very different, which is good. My advice is to make it even more extreme. As in:
"If you were a heart of glass, I'd SMASH you on the floor."
"If you were an orange, I would CRUSH you in my hand."
You see what I mean? That's how I would do it, anyway. I like extremes. But it was very refreshing. Keep it up!
This piece of poetry is really good. I like the way it flows and I like the imagery. I did find one edit though...In the last stanza the 'i' should be capitalized. Other than that one small edit, I did not see anything that needed to be changed. You have a very strong writing style and I would like to read more of your work!
Keep it up
-Kayde