We rot, and rot, and rot- until we're rotten-

So I kind of like the first stanza. In fact I kind of like what you're talking about here, but I don't know if I'm adhering as much as I'd like to the manner in which you've actually done it. What does it for me might be the title. We all rot, and then we keep doing it, and then we eventually become rotten. Yes. I don't like this because it's really redundant. After some deliberate repetition, I want to read something profound so as to give that repetition significance. In this case, I'm just sort of disappointed because I know that rotting rots stuff. So, there's that.

Then is the rest. I think I like the rest, honestly. I do. It's a little dramatic, but at least you did so well. I read some people who want to be real deep and emotional... just no. You're doing a fine job though. You actually give is some depth which is refreshing, and you do so in a very well-written way. I commend you.

In conclusion, I'd say just be careful of over-doing it a bit. Don't let words and syntax drag you down. Sometimes just go with the flow and you'll end up like "Yeah. Yeah, OK. Yeah."

So yeah.

Hello there, friend.

First of all, I appreciate that you're keeping the images consistent throughout the piece. You talk about rotting, and maggots, and death. Many poets don't stick to their set of images, but you did. It's all related. Nice job.

However, I feel like you could use even more of these images to strengthen the piece. For example, in the first stanza, you have no images at all. Perhaps describe the happy place the place used to be? Juxtaposition can really help a poem. If you speak of beauty, and then turn it to rotting flesh, there is much more of an impact than if you simply say, it used to be happy here.

The line "So that if this is pointless now" is confusing to me. I don't know if I'm reading it wrong, but I don't know what it's trying to say.

"And cockroaches have made their beds in our hearts" Whoa. That's quite a statement. Put a period after it to make it even stronger.

The two lines "How did this happen?" and "How did the world come to twist like this?" Are essentially asking the same question. My advice is to omit the former to avoid redundancy.

All your hyphens should be dashes, actually. They're longer than hyphens. Just a side note.

"That death just loves to feed on" omit just. Just makes words smaller. Just makes them sound like they're of no consequence. But Death really does like to feed on Life.

Well, it was pretty well written. Nice job. Happy writing.

Hi there, Demoness!

Wow. This piece is pessimistic! xD To tell you the truth, I finished reading it because I love you. However, I know there are readers out there who know how to appreciate it better than me. But anyway, I'm just speaking mumble jumble, so let's get to reviewing.
I love how the flow of your lines give a warm comfortable feeling, despite the subject and mood of your piece. I really appreciate that your stanzas are neatly organized, and that the wording is attractive.

However, the reason why I'm writing this review is because I noticed that the punctuation is not uniform; know that consistency in a poem is important, because the more professional you are, the more serious they'll treat you (whether if it's a simple reader, a professor, an editor, or whoever). An example of what I am saying is the second stanza. I'd suggest you to take a second look at your piece to insert those missing commas and periods.

Overall, even when I can't relate to it, or "feel ya" like they say (XD), this was nicely written, and that is something I have to congratulate you for. Great job! :] <3

~GeeLyria

Hello there..
Like the reviewer before me, i too think it is a dark piece... I don't know exactly what but something was completely captivating... I mean...just mesmerizing.. It flows well and smooth.. Good work..
Keep writing!
Harshita:)

This is a really dark piece. It sounds like something a tern would leave behind as a suicide not before they jumped off a bridge or something. I really admire you for writing such an emotional piece because those are a piece of you that you expose to the world. I normally don't like free style verse but this one hit the mark.
Some things though were very odd and kinds creepy. "And cockroaches has made a bed in our hearts." Hikes. Also that sentence is ungrammatical. "Has made" is singular and "cockroaches" is plural.
Good job!