Blood of a Sinner

Hey. AHHH! LIKE 1 MINUTE LEFT! OKAY, SO.I MIGHT COME BACK AND REVIEW IN GREATER DETAIL LATER BUT FOR NOW I LOVED THE CONCEPT AND THE IDEA! UM, IT WAS A GREAT POEM AND ENJOYABLE TO READ! KEEP WRITING!

-FCS

Hello, NightWolf here to review your poem! I must say, the title really drew me in. Not too long, not too short, but having enough detail to arouse interest.

You are very good with words, I can see that. You have manged to create a scene for the reader to connect to, through your well-chosen vocabulary. The imagery is just fantastic. For a short poem, you have managed to build up a highly detailed description, well done!

The flow is unbroken and carries on to the end of the poem. Using short lines throughout helps the reader stay focusd. No issues here, I believe.

I see you haven't used commars after each line. This is okay if you prefer to write like this, but maybe add them when you publish, it helps the reader to establish the flow a little more.


I loved this poem, it is just beautifully written. I look forward to reading more!

Hey,

First of all your name is awesome and with that avvie it really rocks. now coming to your poem.

Let's start with the title of the peom. i felt it was just perfect And that's one point I really liked about the poem because good titles are really hard to make (trust me, one example for bad titles would be me lol)

Then coming to the plot, I loved your idea. This was deadly creative lol. Do you get it? deadly creative XD

I am sorry for not been a good critique on this piece but it's not really my fault because I just loved this poem so much.

oh one more thing, their wasn't punctuation in your poem. i just reread it and noticed that it wasn't any. so work on that please. else than that everything was great.

umaima

Oh.. K here to review your poem! I hope this is helpful!

First, let's begin with your strengths. The first big one is being able to show a scene through words, and describe it in beautiful detail. Your word choice here is really, really stellar. You use such beautiful words and give the reader really, really great imagery so I loved that about your piece.

Next, these lines- "And it hurts, of course it hurts/But if you knew what it felt like/To feel nothing/You’d smile at the pain" I really loved, because I could connect to it. I've felt nothing before, and I've resorted to pain to release myself from it. I feel like a lot of readers could connect to those lines, so you do a good job of establishing connections to real life.

Moving on to weaknesses, the first one I noticed is a small thing, really, and that's punctuation. You only use a few commas, when grammatically speaking there should be a lot more. I know a lot of poets don't like to use punctuation in their pieces, but it helps the reader a lot and establishes a better flow of your piece.

A small, nitpicky thing is this line- "And things once forgotten is remembered again." I would consider removing the "and," then it should be, "...are remembered again," not is.

Other than that, you have a really beautiful poem here! I hope to see more from you!