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140,620 Literary Works • 673,556 Reviews
Hai there, Demoness.
I liked this a lot. It was very descriptive and it drew me in and kept me interested. The entire style and idea of this piece is very blunt, but has good emotion. I feel like the style and setup really created a dramatic tone, which is interesting and bold. I don't really have much else to say because this is a good poem, so this will be the end of my slightly pointless review.
Anyway, good job, keep writing!
~Cat
I must say that I enjoyed reading this poem. The first line really drew me in; such a bold and blunt statement really helped set the feel of this poem. The very straightforward way this poem is written really does create the emotion and tone, especially with how it interacts with the poems message(s).
The lack or apparent/rigid structure also positively affects this poem, helping represent the freedom and wildness of emotions and dreams. Though, I would break this poem into two stanza's. After line eleven feels like the best place to do this. It would help emphasize the unstated pause and dramatic effect of the short line of "Or erased".
I really don't have much else to say about the poem. I know I most likely missed a couple of pointers her and there, but free form poetry doesn't have any guidelines to follow that can be commented on. The fact that this is a good poem also makes it hard to review.
Well anyways, enjoy!
- noninjaspresent >(>==)>*