A Mixture of Things which cannot be Achieved

by Demoness

Published December 9, 2012

In Pieces of Poetry

(Do not ask what happened to my poetry, I do not know... This is what I write nowadays, messy things, but that's okayyyy x))

A Mixture of Things which cannot be Achieved

I am made out of darkness

But what does it matter
When time consists of illusions
That mixes good with evil
In the belief that it will form something great
A thing that does not exist though-
Is perfectionism and all kinds alike
There are no words that you cannot disassemble
There are no dreams you cannot crush
No memories that cannot be manipulated
Or erased
There is only suffering and all kinds alike
But happiness is to be found in various corners
You just have to resist the impulse, to bottle it up
Do not try to stock it in piles
For happiness cannot be achieved
One can only be
In the present
Happy
For a while
Comments & reviews · 2
disheartenedcat wrote a review Review · Dec 12, 2012

Hai there, Demoness.

I liked this a lot. It was very descriptive and it drew me in and kept me interested. The entire style and idea of this piece is very blunt, but has good emotion. I feel like the style and setup really created a dramatic tone, which is interesting and bold. I don't really have much else to say because this is a good poem, so this will be the end of my slightly pointless review. :P
Anyway, good job, keep writing!

~Cat

User avatar
noninjaes
Review
noninjaes wrote a review Review · Dec 11, 2012

I must say that I enjoyed reading this poem. The first line really drew me in; such a bold and blunt statement really helped set the feel of this poem. The very straightforward way this poem is written really does create the emotion and tone, especially with how it interacts with the poems message(s).

The lack or apparent/rigid structure also positively affects this poem, helping represent the freedom and wildness of emotions and dreams. Though, I would break this poem into two stanza's. After line eleven feels like the best place to do this. It would help emphasize the unstated pause and dramatic effect of the short line of "Or erased".

I really don't have much else to say about the poem. I know I most likely missed a couple of pointers her and there, but free form poetry doesn't have any guidelines to follow that can be commented on. The fact that this is a good poem also makes it hard to review.

Well anyways, enjoy! :D
- noninjaspresent >(>==)>*



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