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140,774 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Hello, Demoness (nice name, btw)!
Frankly, there isn't much I can say here, especially since I didn't even look at grammar and I have no slightest idea about writing poetry, but when something appears that I like, I figure I can as well stop by and say that I liked it.
As I did. You use some wonderful imagery there, and the whole poem - well, really, you have a whole story told there - is just marvelously dark and sweet at the same time.
Indeed it is sad the way people destroy the children's dreams, and I believe the world would simply be a better place if there was more understanding for dreams and stories.. Some of the people still don't change, though. They say they're children at heart and people think it makes them childish - but really, it just kind of makes them free, does it not?
Really, that would be it - I know I didn't say much, but I hope at least I didn't say anything wrong..
Kind regards,
Aria~
Edit: well, I just now figured this is not very new.. But still, I'm glad I read it, and I still like it, so, here you are :3
Haha, I'm glad you liked it since yes, it's not that new and I can't really say it's my best work
P
Hey! I just have some grammar things for you
learnt should be learned I think...
This should be:
And so she watchES the ghosts return to ground
And she can’t even wave goodbye to her friends
I think that makes more sense.
Lovely and wonderful. It is apity that the world we live in is indeed filled with nothing but hypocrisy and deceit. The magical dividend has eventually become a bore hence my certain like of the way yo have professionally dealt with this topic. Although I would ask you to please just a little bit use more words that will facilitate the complexity of your poems.