Locked in a Hall of Broken Mirrors

Hello Demoness, Wolf here to review your poem!

The first thin I noticed is that this poem definitely has a lot of emotion in it. I can really feel for the POV character/person.

It was a quite lovely but slightly dark piece. I think you did quite well on it. I doubt I'll be able to say very much about it.

I don't see any technical mistakes. Although I'm really not that great at the technical side of poetry.

I think you described the the scene very well. And as I already said I could really feel the POV character/person.

I loved the way you ended it. Even though I'm not one for sad endings, I think this particular ending suited this poem extremely well.

I don't think there really is anything else for me to say so... good job! I hope to be able find the time to read more of your work!

~WW

Ooooh, a Demoness poem! I've read one or two of your poems before and really enjoyed them! I have high expectations! Now I will read it.

Aaaah, this is very interesting. I'll read it again.

"I've been stuck in a hall of mirrors.
Everywhere I see reflections
Of all the people I have been,
All angles of who I am-
The one I will be
And the people I could have been,
Could have become."

I really like this opening. It flows really nicely. It's very controlled and well-formed. Good one

"I see smokescreens
And I see shadows-
I see light and darkness,
And I see you"

I like this too. It seems like a description of the good and bad in the person and the things they hide and stuff. I like this bit.

"Tried to understand where you fit in ..."

I don't like the dot dot dot at the end of this. Dot dot dots very rarely work in poems. I think it disrupts the flow here; a full stop would be much nicer

I like the bit where you say about butterflies and leeches. It's a bit more of that good and bad in everyone thing, which is interesting, and you've got some good images for it.

"I want you to be who you are
Though I want to hold your hand-
I do not want you to be able to flee from me;
But neither stick to me like glue."

I don't understand this bit much.

"None other than a girl
That is completely alone.
It's the only thing she’s learned how to be
The only thing she knows how to do.
But I don’t want that anymore..."

I'm not keen on this bit compared to the rest of the poem. There's another dot dot dot again which I don't really like, especially at the end of a section. I think that this little section isn't getting the mood of the rest of the poem quite. It just doesn't quite seem to fit.

"And soon, this will be a hall of broken glass
And there will be blood on my hands
Blood that no one can wash away-
Nobody but you.
But I think it's too late;
I think I'm locked in here
And you do not have a key-
I never gave you the key."

Nice ending. I like the way you've got 'I' and 'you' seeming to be the same person? It's almost like a split personality... And then the last couplet is really good. It sort of stays with you.

So, I hope something of what I've said has helped a little bit Nice piece. I'll be liking it!

Review
This is a really good poem about not trying to fit in