If I ever,'
If I were to fall in love, it'd be for you and your charms.
And if I ever were to fall, I'd like to fall into your arms.
If I were to be heartbroken, it'd be you who broke my heart.
And if I ever were to be broken, I'd like you to tear me apart.
If I were dead, it'd be you who killed me with your charms.
And if I ever were dying, I'd like to die in your arms.
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139,496 Literary Works • 672,585 Reviews
I absolutely loved it. I like how you made it rhyme and I like how its not to long. It pretty much cuts to the chase. So far I have read a lot of your work and I believe that your poetry could get you far in life. You are quiet amazing. This could be a little longer but I think that other than that it is great. Keep it up!(:
~XOXX
Write music for this. Please.
Loved this poem.
It's short, simple and effective.
I liked how you made the lines rhyme as well.
Keep up the good work
-
Haha! Thank you very much Kayde!
Even though this was a sad poem it made me smile. It fit my taste for poetry. I apologize I have nothing to suggest to improve this poem, because I thought it was amazing! The rhyme was great, the tone was perfect, and the rhythm was fantastic! I am definitely in love with this piece
-Kayde
Thank you, Thanks, Thanxx xDD
Short. Sweet. Simple.
Keep it up.
Thank you guys!
Wow! I love this! It feels like it's looped from beginning to end and connects so solidly! Love it!
All I can say is that this is amazing! I am normally not a big fan of heartbreaking poems but this was awesome. The rhyming. flowed really nicely and it wasn't forced. There's not much else to say so great job!
-Hope
I appreciate it! Thanxx alot!
Wow. This was incredible! It was very simple, short, and to the point
I loved it!!
...
I'm not really sure what to say. I'm trying to figure out what happened- but i'm pretty sure I was just blown away by the power of this piece. This wicked great work changed my emotions the very moment I read it- in other words the energy/images/power of your poem lifted a heavy spirit. This is a great work of art (BTW Thank you)
Aow, Thanks alot everyone!
And No, you can never get enough appreciation! xD
// Hugs and Hearts from Sagaa
Wow I really loved this. =] It's like, love and heartbreak all in one! Great job! I like your style, let me know if you ever need a review. I also loved the rhythm. The rhymes were great and you didn't jump out of place even once. Keep it up.
This is great, I love it! Just as IcyFlame said, I have never been a fan of sad romantic poetry, but I really love this. There are really no productive comments that I can give you, and that might be partially due to the fact that I have never been a picky reader. But nevertheless, great work!
-Alex
Very very good piece! excellent job. there may be a way to smoothe out flow however. It is very good and i love the imagery. Try and find the Perfect word that will take out that pesky extra syllable. "The difference between a good word and the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug, we are in the lightning business"--roger rosenblatt
Well I have one word for this: wow!! I rarely come across a piece of slightly depressing poetry that I actually enjoy; I'm too much of an optimist. I haven't got any bad comments, so sorry on that front for the lack of valuable improvements. Still... it's always nice to be appreciated, huh?