First thing xD The last sentence made me put my hand on my heart xD It was like if someone ut my actual heart. Now, off to the review.

I like the first stanza. It is like a nice build-up to a greater part. It gives a lot of emotions, and you can really feel it.

"You’re slicing tomatoes, carelessly, by the kitchen counter" It gives the feeling that you are either annoyed, angry, or even sad. Lot's of emotions in just a single stanza.

"I want to smile, because you are wearing a smile that invites sunshine to bathe in my heart. " Well that could be a little worked out with some deeper words, (personal opinion) but the sentence and meaning is a good build-up against something. You ckearky see that it's going to turn around in some way.

And the last sentence there is a very good highlight. It's like the first shot in an action movie. You know it's going to be a great shootout. In the same way I know that you are going to make a great stanza.

"You’re holding a knife in your neat little hand." It feels like innocence, but it sounds tender and sore.

"I want to smile, because that mark on your finger used to mean that we belonged- you and I." Is it a wedding ring that is now gone? What is it? I clearly want to read more at this point. I feel the emotions here. It feels almost sad.

"But I can’t, because that mark on your finger, lacks metal and is simply that, a mark of the past." Definately a missing ring. The true feelings lie beneath the words, but you make them clear. The person is definately sad. But still it is neatly done, and the scarceness (is that a word?) is really bringing the reader to a state of wonder.

"I want so badly to just smile. To close my eyes, and invite the sunshine in." It's sore and cute, and it really gives the reader some sympathy. If the poem was thirteen stanza long, I would still read it after this point. But the pure scarceness (is it a word? I seriously want to know) is making it much more tender and neat.

"But how can I, when you’re holding that knife, wearing that smile- while you carelessly slice through my heart!?" Wow. That's like a "kaboom" ending to the poem. The metaphor is unbearable. The reader (as I mentioned at the start) feels the knife cut the heart. We all know the feeling. Expecially when you say "carelessly", you bring up the writers feelings of themselves being hurt.

All in all, the review is based upon personal thoughts but I love it. I truly, extremely, enjoyed the poem's rollercoaster of emotions and genuinity. Loved it. Great poem, Demoness.

(I guess you don't believe I'm 15 any more xD)

Love, Bob Walker!

In the first line, change "you are" to you're to fit with the other times you use the words.

Sunshine bathing in your heart is just gorgeous.

It confused me why you put a comma before "lacks metal". It's gramatically incorrect, and I don't think it contributes to the poem at all.

The invitation of the sunlight is also a little confusing. In the first stanza, the boy can invite sunlight into your heart, but in the third, you must invite it in yourself.

I find the !? at the end to be quite obnoxious. I would probably only use the !

Overall, I your concept is great. I love poems with a little twist at the end that makes you reconsider the whole thing. However, I think that your execution could be greatly improved by clearing up some of your contradictions and making line breaks that are meaningful. If you put a little more work into this poem, it could be a real gem.

Hey Demoness!

I figured that I would try to review some... that way, I would feel less guilty about submitting my own work. And so, your piece shall be attacked! So, apologies in advance.

The way this began totally caught my eye because it reminded me of Neruda's Ode to Tomatoes. (I linked it, just in case you wanted to read it.) However, you will be happy to know that you had definitely an original spin on this! I have never read something that compared the heart with a tomato, though now that I think about it, I wonder why, because they are definitely similar to each other!

Now, there are a couple of things that you wrote which kind of tripped me up a little, so I figured that I would comment on that, just so you know (and knowledge is power, right?) First of all, you keep talking about smiling, but there is really no connection with tomatoes or knives until the very end, so that is kind of making your poem a little off-balance. You also talk about a little mark on the finger that reminds you of being together with they guy who is cutting things. But, that really has no connection with the connection either.

Then... we get to the last part of the poem, where it is revealed in a grandiose fashion that what he is cutting isn't really tomatoes but the narrator's heart! Which, now that I think of it, this is probably a metaphorical thing. HOWEVER. I think it would be a lot cooler if you were pretending that he was literally slicing your heart, while treating it like a tomato, while you tried to smile. It would make it that much more dramatic and eerie, I think.

...but then again, I have a twisted sense of things.

Anyway! Loved the analogy! Tie things in more together and this will be awesome. <3