Words come out like Vomit

Well hello <(^_^)>

this poem is preaty dannnggg amazing!

I do want to say that I enjoy the repatition, and it is a very deep poem.

Sometimes poems don't really make sense, but this one does. It is a good use of metaphor's all the way through.

I read this poem, probably, 3 times and didn't find anything I wasn't happy about

Hey there!

This is the first poem of yours that I'm reading and I like It very much. You said your previous poems were neatly rythmed, I belive you should always write what you feel and there is emotion in this poem, so the lack of rythm may actually be a good thing here.

"It is thrown up by the waves
Like all things I swallow
Words too"
I love this part!

"And my smile turns into a frown
All things fade
Words too "
This is sooo true, and I love the way you talk about words, how you distinguish them as something important and poweful.

I just feel that something is missing at the end, a line or two just to make your conclusion stronger.

All in all you got my attention and that's the aim, isn't it? )

Keep on with the great work

Luca

Hey Demoness,

This was interesting, to say the least. I mean, it was like a stream of consciousness-cross-poetry.
The word choice was beautiful, and I really liked that. True, the syntax was crazy out of whack, but I see how you've used that to create an individuality within your work.
The repetition of 'words too' was good, in the sense that it really helped tie the ramble together. The only bit that I really got confused at, was the line:

Thinking it is too big to have any angst against me

This was really only because it was longer than the surrounding lines. Of course, it depends on how you say it, so I know that it probably worked with you.

I did enjoy reading the piece, however. Well done!

NightWriter x