Young Writers Society

Hi, ancientforever. I really liked this poem. Your descriptions are great. Another thing i really liked was your ending. My favourite stanza would be:

"the river runs so silent through the green
not whispering or babbling like the brook
no fish or snake may grace its glassy waters
and none could see the bottom if they looked"

The thing that needs improvement are your puncuations. Use a bit more and more appropriate punctuation marks.

Anyway, a good poem and i hope to read more of your work.

- Anshira; Apple dumpling gang.

Hi, Ancient! The name's Storm, and I'll be doing a quick review for ya tonight! I am not making this review into a "quickie" simply because I lack the energy, but rather due to the fact that hardly any mistakes are evident in your piece! *applauds*

Anyways, shall we begin?

No errors pertaining to the mechanical side of writing were visible, so I suppose I'll just dive into the actual content. Your writing fundamentals are spot on.

So. I noticed that "there is a river" lacks a prominent meter... I don't know, but it seems as if there should be a steady rise/fall throughout the stanzas and yet no meter is present. Each stanza does not follow its predecessor, and therefore feels broken. Maybe this is what you're looking for- I do not know. After all, you're the poet here. However, take this into consideration.

Next, I absolutely love the images you conjure in this poem, Ancient! <3 I wish you expanded this work to make room for more colorful descriptions. Great job on creating a clear scene of the pronounced river.

Lastly, the ending stanza is very interesting, in my personal opinion. The sudden shift from a peaceful, beautiful waterway to a slightly dark, ominous river adds a perfect conclusion to this (sadly) short poem.

Good work with "there is a river", my friend! As always: Write on!

---Stormsie

Hey, ancientforever! (I like your name, by the way.) FireFox here to review for the Apple Dumpling Gang! (Yes, that is our name!)

Needs Improvement:
1. Grammar. I'm sure you know that, typically, grammar is one of the last things a writer is to worry about. Upon writing the final draft of a piece, that is when the writer is to assure that spelling and grammar is entirely up to par. So no big deal there. Just pointing out that perhaps you may want to capitalize the beginning of your lines. You may have not capitalized them purposely, and that's fine, too, if that's what you meant to do. Additionally, you may want to add punctuation at the end of your lines but, then again, you may have purposely left out the punctuation, too. That's the nice thing about poetry - no definite rules.

2. My only other complaint is that I wanted more! You could most definitely elaborate on this piece if you wanted to! Don't be shy!

I really enjoyed this piece! I can't choose a favorite stanza, but I think my favorite lines were:

"will you brave this river, noble friend?
where peacefulness and death intertwine
curiosity ought to have your head
for the river on your wandering soul will dine"

You practically brought this river to life with this last stanza! I love it! Your imagery is fantastic! I love how you kind of personified the dandelions in the first stanza by stating they were "nodding in the breeze." That was very clever and aided your description.

Let me know if you ever need any other reviews!

-FireFox