Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,372 Literary Works • 672,541 Reviews
I was a bit confused reading this the first time. I read it once more and I started to get it, very well written poem. New and orginal and that's what I live. Your imagery was set off perfectly, maybe you could make it so less confusing but overall very will written poem.
I would say stanza two was my favorite because it just had a certian rythem that I just loved. You a good writer I can tell, next time make it longer because I am sure you could of added a lot of great things.
Keep up the writing!
In my opinion the second sounds better but both are good. You probably could combine them if you wanted too. At first I read the two versions as one whole, because I didn't read the stuff above, and it seemed pretty good that way. But overall it all matters on your own opinion of it so do as you like