To the Breakfast Uneaten

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Comments & reviews · 5
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Mysticalxx
Comment

Wow! Great description you've used here, although it made me feel hungry, okay? :)
It also has an old fashioned sense to it, like it was written by some long time poet.

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Sherri
Review
Sherri wrote a review · Wed Sep 03, 2014 8:07 pm

Hi!
This is great :) I love the imagery you use, even though it made me hungry. Very hungry. I had to stop before I wrote this to go munch on something... XD
I couldn't find any errors, so boom goes that part of the review :D That's really good, though!
I really like how you structured this... you ended with four lines in a stanza, but I didn't notice until I was done reading and went back to analyze. I'm surprised it melded so well, so congrats on that. :)
Finally, I have to ask what made you come up with this. I'm curious! :D
Sorry the review was so short... you pretty much fixed everything before you even posted it!
I love your poems, so please keep writing! :)

Well, it's a villanelle - the standard for that is five tercets (stanzas of three lines) and one quartet (stanza of four lines). Also, this was totally a challenge by Lumi :P

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miley
Comment

cool! brought water in my mouth! nice combination - food and comedy. i like it. but just keep in mind don't do comedy with food! it hurts in the end.

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miley
Comment

cool! brought water in my mouth! nice combination - food and danger.

Haha love it! You don't sacrifice good writing for comedy, and i totally appreciate that. the description made me crave bacon, too! you're great at putting words together and making phrases flow effortlessly and i know how hard that can be. I'm not great at it. there's hardly a thing to criticize. fun little poem.



i think once every new ywser realizes they can manifest themselves into the quote gen by making a post about the quote gen, they make a very inconspicuous post about the quote gen, but deep in their hearts, they know they’ll see that post at the bottom of the page one day. (yeah, i see you mods. you brought this upon us)
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