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Wow! Great description you've used here, although it made me feel hungry, okay?
It also has an old fashioned sense to it, like it was written by some long time poet.
Hi!
I love the imagery you use, even though it made me hungry. Very hungry. I had to stop before I wrote this to go munch on something... XD
That's really good, though!


This is great
I couldn't find any errors, so boom goes that part of the review
I really like how you structured this... you ended with four lines in a stanza, but I didn't notice until I was done reading and went back to analyze. I'm surprised it melded so well, so congrats on that.
Finally, I have to ask what made you come up with this. I'm curious!
Sorry the review was so short... you pretty much fixed everything before you even posted it!
I love your poems, so please keep writing!
Well, it's a villanelle - the standard for that is five tercets (stanzas of three lines) and one quartet (stanza of four lines). Also, this was totally a challenge by Lumi
cool! brought water in my mouth! nice combination - food and comedy. i like it. but just keep in mind don't do comedy with food! it hurts in the end.
cool! brought water in my mouth! nice combination - food and danger.
Haha love it! You don't sacrifice good writing for comedy, and i totally appreciate that. the description made me crave bacon, too! you're great at putting words together and making phrases flow effortlessly and i know how hard that can be. I'm not great at it. there's hardly a thing to criticize. fun little poem.