Spider's Web

by Vervain

Published December 28, 2013

In 4 • Old Poetry

-text removed-

Comments & reviews · 4
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anshira
Review
anshira wrote a review Review · Dec 29, 2013

Hi, ancientforever! your poem left me awestruck- it was truly amazing. I loved loved loved your ending and your starting was not bad as well. The choice of words in paticular stood out.

My favourite stanza would be:

" She casts her net and brings in stars
And lurks beneath the waves,
For gossamer, gossamer, Spider's Web
Shall ne'er a good man save."

Overall: an amazing poem which I loved. Hope to read more of your work.

- Anshira; Ink force

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Laure
Review
Laure wrote a review Review · Dec 29, 2013

This poem is beautiful. Truly, is a complete gem. The poem flows with a constant and easy rhythm that instantly drew me in. Nothing kills a poem like terrible rhythm but nothing makes a good poem except for a good rhythm.
I love the consistence within each stanza, and the repetition of
‘And gossamer, gossamer, Spider’s web’
It adds a much more realistic and mythical feeling to the whole poem.
God, I wish I could say what I want to but is just so ….. amazing!
Going from the first stanza of
‘There runs a ship with tattered sails,
Fore and aft and main,
And gossamer, gossamer, Spider's Web
Is what they call her name. ‘
You use the pentamic meter very effectively there, and once again, the imagery of it is absoluetely stunning.
‘She casts her net and bring in stars
And lurks beneath the waves’
I can literally visualize it.

You’ve done an amazing poem, seriously! *throws confetti*

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Vervain
Comment
Vervain commented Comment · Dec 28, 2013

For those of you interested, message me and I can link you to the idea bouncing in my head when this was written.

User avatar
aseel
Review
aseel wrote a review Review · Dec 28, 2013

hi, ancientforever; this is aseel reviewing ^_^
um, I like your poem.. though I'm not sure I fully understand it.
I liked when you said:
"With seven eyes all white with death,
And extra in the sky,
Gossamer, gossamer, Spider's Web
Is watching far and nigh."
I don't know much about ships,but I got that the 7 eyes are the sailors and the 8th is the observer of the ship (excuse my terms).
I find the end touching. even if it's lost or destroyed or whatever that happened to it, it'll always be immortal. (if I got it right ;))
I liked how this poem is written, I liked the rhymes and I loved the language and the vocabulary,i like the metaphors. I LOVE your poem :).
looking forward to your next post.



There was nothing he enjoyed more than a good book. He'd wander into the study, take down some leather-bound volume, and eat it.
— Terence Brady (dog owner)