carry the wind

by Vervain

Published July 11, 2014

E - Everyone

In 4 • Old Poetry

-text removed-

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Tuesday
Review
Tuesday wrote a review Review · Jul 17, 2015

Hello Tuesday here for a review. I like the say this poem is impressive and I enjoyed the imagery you used in this poem, as it could give the reader a chance to see the things you wrote here. Also the metaphor for what you have used here, which could be the pain of trying to talk to someone and seeing that person having to go. I also enjoyed the simple similes you used into this poem (that could be used for a message or something.)

This poem is quite beautiful. I mean if I read it over some more, I don't see anything wrong with it (and I know reviews are meant for the sake of pointing out things that need to be changed and whatnot) but this poem seems to be perfect. I enjoyed the little similes, imagery you used in this poem, and the meaning within in this poem. Good job.

Sorry for this short review and hopefully, I get to review more of your work.

Farewell
Tuesday

User avatar
ScarlettFire
Review
ScarlettFire wrote a review Review · Jul 27, 2014

Hey AF! Scar here to review you poetry~

Wow. I really like this, AF. It's short, but that works. It flows really well, and your imagery is really interesting. I like how you start off with this;

my skin is bone dry


and then you seem to go from nervous to guilt to shame (I think?) and I like it. I like how it progresses. I also love how you use

by a heavy wind


at the end of each four-line stanza, and repeat it. It's an interesting pattern.

AF, you're truly amazing and I'm afraid I don't have anything to suggest, because it's just that good. I would love to see more poetry from you, and I am definitely click like as soo as I've hit submit!

Remember; keep it up and never stop writing!

~Scar. <3

This review was brought to you
by Team Rocket.
Image

User avatar
deletedaug23
Review
deletedaug23 wrote a review Review · Jul 27, 2014

Hey, yo, Ancientforever! Strangelove here on this PokeReview Day and I have a somewhat of a quick review for you!
As you already know, I like this poem. I found the subject matter a weird twist to something that is a common subject. In better words, I found this interesting. It was original, yet it wasn't original. It was a weird stalemate. Good stuff first.
This felt fluent. It wasn't choppy. It ran straight through in a river formation. I guess, a lot of it worked well. Is this a great poem? No. I have nothing much to say, really. So, NOW FOR THE BAD STUFF!
The whole idea. It has been through the mill and ran again and again and again. It wasn't that original, to be honest. The (somewhat) twist you threw on there is interesting, but the idea.
Usually, I see narrators complaining about lying and stuff. This narrator had to lie. I liked that fact. It made me smile, and it was somewhat original.
Overall, good job.
Strange gives you..
8.1/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.

#TeamPlasmaStruck

User avatar
LanguidLiger
Review
LanguidLiger wrote a review Review · Jul 11, 2014

The premise of this poem seems to be that we repress our emotions. The author believes that if we were less reluctant to release our emotions, we would uneestand one another and eachother better. They regret not trying harder to change thier relationships for the better. And they punish themselves for self pity. In the end they find that sadness snd disapointment envelops them and blows thier good qualities away. Good structure and grammer. Keep writing.

ccwritingrainbow wrote a review Review · Jul 11, 2014

I feel as if this poem describes my life so well at the moment. Even thought I'm a graduate, I feel as if things were left unsaid after leaving school and stuff like that. This poem is making me think right now. This poem could be between two friends or two lovers even. I just love how this poem speaks generally instead of sticking to one thing because it brings a variety of readers to thinking about a topic like this. Nicely done, friend.



I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
— Dr. Seuss